The Babbling Chronicles ([info]babb_chronicles) wrote,
@ 2006-09-26 22:43:00
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Current mood: like a Sheela
Current music:Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang / Walla walla, bing bang

Part CIV - In bard daylight
Well, it`s been about three months already and there`s only so many times you can apologize for disappearing without explanation, I guess.
The upside however is that things are slowly getting on track and though I won`t be able to guarantee it, this journal will return to be regularly updated, if not on a weekly basis at least closer to that.



(link)
(from the author’s notes)
Hey ok I’m not from America so I don’t know if it’s only in books they marry the students together for a project. I’m sorry if I get some of the details wrong but I’m putting my own interpretation on the idea because I don’t really know much about it.
*
During the summer I was fortunate enough to visit Juniplough. For those of you who haven’t heard of Juniplough, it is the largest magic school in America.
*
‘For a period of time, students are paired off by the teachers into ‘marriages’. Through the ‘marriage’ they learn basic yet essential life skills. These include sharing, compromising, discussing, deliberating and much more. In recent times, the couples have also been given a jewel to care for. The jewels are to represent responsibility, or as the students say- children. These jewels must never be left alone.’ Dumbledore took as sip from his goblet and continued.

**
(link)
My light violet eyes are open wide, and look somewhat unnatural on my white face, and my silky black hair is messy from sleep, reaching a few centimetres above my waist. My little lavender nightgown goes halfway down my thighs, hanging loosely off of my petite shoulders with thin straps, keeping me cool in the hot summer weather.
**
(link)
“Euge, Lils, I don’t think you’ve noticed” (which was Eugenia’s nickname) “but you guys only haven’t seen each other for a month and a half.” Said Jessabelle Sorensen (Midge for short) being her down to earth self. She was the advice-giver, boy-troubled-helper and most of all she was smart, and was Sirius Black’s tutor and girlfriend. She was short about 5,2 or so, almost half the size of Sirius, but apparently that’s why he loves her, so he can pick her up because she’s so small, hence the nickname Midge, like midget.
*
They had all grown immensely, especially Peter which was strange considering that he still he resembled a mouse but finally looked like he had grown into his chubbiness. Remus was still the tallest at 6-5, then Sirius being 6-3. Not far form that was James having grown to his full height was now 6-2. And surprisingly Peter was close behind at 5-9. (an: I suppose if u’ve read other chapters you know what James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter look like, of course they resemble their amigi but I don’t really want to spend pages on what they look like)
**
(link)
Name: Draco Malfoy
Hair: blond
Eye color: blue
Weight: 148 lbs.
Height: 5’10”
Birthday: July 9
Age: 18
House/Year: Slytherin/7th
Family: Lucius Malfoy (father), Narissa Malfoy (mother
Friends: Blaise Zambini, Goyle, Crabbe
People you despise: Pansy
People you just down right hate: Harry Potter, all the Weasleys, Hermoine Granger
Quidditch Position: seeker
Favorite Quidditch team: Bulgarian National Team
Favorite color: green and black
Favorite class: none
Favorite candy: anything sour
Favorite Band: Maroon 5, ACDC, White Snake, Simple Plan, etc.
Favorite food: chocolate, pasta, Mexican rice
Career: quidditch
Mudblood or Pureblood
Favorite movie:
Queen of the damned
Lord of the Rings
Pirates of the Caribbean
Master and Commander: of the far side of/on the World
King Arthur
Rose Red
Matrix
Underworld
X-men
*
Draco slamming his lips down on mine made me stopped me. He licks along my bottom lip wanting no begging for an entrance; I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in.
**
(link)
I remembered the song my parents and I used to sing all the time before I went to Hogwarts. I started singing all of a sudden.
I told the witch doctor I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor you didn't love me too
And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do
He said that ...
Harry then joined me in singing:
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang...
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
*
Blaise Zabini- what do I know about him? He's around 6 foot 2.. has this gorgeous olive-colored skin.. an Italian.. addicted to coffee. He has this black curly, messy hair and the bluest eyes you'd ever see anywhere.
**
(link)
Hello my name is Shannon Granger-Malfoy-Potter-Weasley, yes I have relation all those people you see the six of us are in our seventh year at Hogwarts and we are probably the most feared, the most respected and yet the most envied people at scool.
Let me explain shall I?
Ok well I am Hermiones identical twin sister except my hair is longer and I dyed it black over the summer and she is married to Ron Weasley.
His sister, Ginny, is married to Harry Potter and I am married to Draco Malfoy.
We are the only students that were permitted to marry and live in a little house inside Hogwarts but that only tells you how I have two of my last names doesn’t it?
Well as well as being married to the most gorgeous slytherin I am also sleeping with my best friends’ Harry and Ginny. Both share a room and a bed with my husband and I.
So really I am married to Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter as much as I am married to my husband and if you asked them they would all say that they were married to each other as well.
*
“STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT US YOU BASTARDS DOES IT REALLY CONCERN ANY OF YOU IF I SLEEP TWO MEN AND A WOMAN EVERY FUCKING NIGHT? STOP BLOODY STARING AT US AND GET YOUR OWN FUCKING SEX LIVES YOU SICK FUCKS.” Ginny burst out suddenly as she stood up but that was huge mistake because no sooner had she stood she fell to the ground in an unconscious heap.
*
“And what makes you think Harry or Draco were your boyfriends?” Ginny asked covering her mouth to hide a smirk.
“He kissed me.”
“Yea he does that to everyone, that’s why he’s a man whore, he does it to the occasional stranger on the street.” I said shaking my head as a recent Hogsmead trip came in to my head
*
As if to prove our point Harry kissed both Albus and Severus on the mouth and Draco followed suit first kissing Severus then Albus.
When they were finished greeting their ‘father and grandfather’ they both came over and kissed us in turn, these kisses were passionate and soft. Then as if to push home our point they turned and kissed each other.
“Again they tell everyone they love them and they also kiss everyone they see but they only ever kiss us with tongue and they kiss you to say hello or goodbye or whatever else they think warrants a kiss.” I explained.
*
Ginny gasped as Harry swayed dangerously before Draco caught him in his arms and steadied him again “Dudley you pig, the guy with the red hair is Ronald Weasley and the chick next to him is his wife Hermione they are my best friends the guy behind me with the blonde hair is Draco Malfoy he is also my best friend, and the woman next to you with her wand drawn is HIS wife Shannon, the one beside her is MY wife her name is Ginny you will come with us, you are our servant, and before you get any ideas in your little head I can use magic in this school just like every one else you will see walking these halls some of them know that you are my cousin and do not like you because of our history others just simply don’t like muggles either way no one here will hesitate to kill you so keep your fucking mouth shut and DO NOT say a word to any one.”
*
Albus is a very smart man, a wise grandfather figure for us and he knows he won’t live for ever so he’s training the next generation of ‘Albus Dumbledore’s’ (us) which is why we get away with what we do; mostly because Albus has a reason for us doing what we do.
*
Walking down the hall to Albus’ office I felt like I was in one of those movies where you see the good guys walking down a street or a hallway in slow motion on their way to saving the day from the bad guys.
*
but then as that thought faded I imagined that when Voldemort was finally dead the good guys (that’s us) would walk towards the camera in equally slow motion but this time some kind of explosion was happening behind us.
Although when I was younger I always imagined that I was the only female in the group and we walked away from a car explosion dressed in black trench coats kind of across between Jessica Abla in Dark Angel (you know how she wears that out fit when she plays cat and meets Logan?) and David whatever his name is that played that vampire Angelus in that show about a vampire slayer and I always fantasized that I was the kick-ass leader and as we got closer to the camera the audience could see our big powerful automatic guns slung over our shoulder in a ‘DON”T MESS WITH US’ kind of way.
*
Raylee was wearing black leather tights showing off her wafer thin body and a bikini top under an ankle length black leather trench coat. When she moved to shake everyone’s hand I noticed that her hair was unbelievably just as long as her trench coat and just as black she had three rings on her right hand and another three on her left and a chain around her neck and as I looked down I noticed that she had her navel pierced. She had bright blue eyes, that later we would discover changed color every now and then, we were also going to discover that she was a vampire and the ring that she wore on her left ring finger was her ‘sunscreen’ as she called it.
*
“Yo, Drake? Take a chill pill babe.” Harry said getting up to comfort Draco.
*
That dark coppery colored shoulder length hair made it look like she stood at about 5”3 but that didn’t help; I still couldn’t place her then I looked at her eyes they were blue, wait no they were, I felt my jaw drop as I realized that her eyes had changed from blue to gray then greenish gray and back to blue.
**
(link)
The boys at Hogwarts made a point to annoy her. This "sport" was almost as popular as Quidditch. They were infatuated by her eyes and her curves, and all of the things on the outside. She was sure that very few of them knew her middle name (it was Meria) or her favorite color (deep purple). She hated being the object of their superficial fantasies.
*
Once at a party at one of Sirius's relatives' houses, she introduced him to a woman named Arienrhod (A/N...a-rye-in-hood). Sirius never forgot her name or her face. She was pale from head to foot with long gold hair and a cold stare. Her smile was almost bone chilling....you could detect malice from the glint in her teeth to the smell of her perfume (it smelled like poison.) Arienrhod bent at the waist to look Sirius in the eye (he couldn't have been more than 8, and was abnormally tall: even bent as she was, she was taller than Sirius's mother) and curled her lip.
**
(link)
"You have a visitor."Madame Mosley said rash and she led me into her office. "Linka this Mr.Lupin."' ...sounds a bit like an insult to me.
**
(link)
I guess I should tell you a little about myself. I am Nikki, which is short for Monica Christine Maura Marguerite, Princess Royale of Shannogia. I am 15 and attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry all year and then spend my summers in Paris, the USA or the Palace. I must tell you I am half witch and half Veela.
*
I am here in Paris! We have been shopping all day! I found my dress robes in a shop called Madam Milleena’s Million Robes for all Occasions. They are gorgeous! The color is lavender silk stitched with tiny sparkling flowers on the neckline and sleeves. I also got a pair for the Christmas ball at Hogwarts; those are pale blue glitter. I also got a pair of enchanted glass slippers with silver glitter heels. The slippers are enchanted so they will never break and never hurt your feet.
**
(link)
(from the author`s notes)
This was a challenge set by my buddy The Hezzmeister (don’t ask). She said that I had to have: 1 Snape in Pokemon boxers and Pikachu slippers.
2 I have to incorporate the sentence, “I am pickle; hear me roar.”
3 Ron must be wearing a thong at some point.
4 Draco must have prettyful blond ringlets.
**
(link)
Draco Malfoy was unhappy because it was valentines day and he was sitting in the grate Hall. without any friends. Everybody was receiving morning wol post with owls carrying letters and valentine parchmentz to everyone except him.
*
And also, dumbleodre was twingking in his seat because he was getting a really big box from professor Ambdige and that contained a big toad that was marvelously green. Like Harry’s eyes
and he as too. The woldemort danger was there still. It was a happy valentine masquerade and Voldemort was dressed as a panther.
*
Harry was getting very many letters and DAraco thought them were love letters and they came singing and smelling good. And a thousand doves werer delivering them to him coming down from the windows above and they were left in the hall flying in a heart-shaped circle above the Boy Who Lifed and then there was this one dove, like, it was not flying in the nineteen procet angle in the heart’s turning point and it dropped down on its peak and others dropped too and evetrfyone screamed. Except. Him.
*
Hernione was a happy girl too because Goyle had sent her a rose that was sinning Happy birthday and casting golden love dust a,ll over.
*
Minerva MacGonnagag was having a gift from Hagrid. It contaminated a balst.ended Skerwt and a Buckbeak. She was smi,ling happily ever after.
*
And Snape WAS sending a Polyjuice Potion gift for the new DADA techer who drank it happily and became a fairy.
Draco opened the Veela princesses gift and he got a magical shining fountain which was shining with rainbows and he was awe sturk. It was the most bealtyfil things he had ver seen.
*
And she divinated that it was a magical vela pirncess that would marrydraco and there would be a big marriage barty tomorrow with pink dresses and Harry would be so jealoy!!!!!!!!!!
*
The love squid everywhere
Doves singing and cooing and here they were!
The magical forest singing along
The magical castle singing a song!
Valentina’s day was extryingful.
*
And then Gabrielle (Fluors twin siister) got a persent from Charlie Weasley and it was a small dragon.
Which would grouw big in the future. Very big, cuz it was a dragon too.
Oohy what a Veela, like a Sheela from beaty and the brgyutuful.
The magical twin brother John wrote a poem too!
It was for Lavender Brwon. It was a pretty bad poem so we’re not publishing int.
**
(link)
"Going shopping….with me." He said and sat on his side, just looking at her, he knew that it would be dangerous to walk in bard daylight like himself, so he knew some spells to change his look.
*
"I would like to get to my volt, Zod Evilcleaver." Draco said normally, as if nothing was going on.
*
"We have, Miss Granger, The Shining Through robes. They are a Glamorous pink satin sweeps over white satin at bust and side on this must have strapless gown. Glittering rhinestones highlight the unavoidable splendor of this dress. Open back is magnificent with a hidden back zipper. The Fabric Contents of Polyester." Madam Kenya said to her.



Thanks to:
Emii B for the Madame Mosley fic quote, the Princess Royale of Shannogia fic quotes, the “challenge set by The Hezzmeister” author`s notes abd the twingking! Dumbledore fic quotes
Itsbeenvery for the Zod Evilcleaver fic quotes



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(170 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]volandum
2006-09-26 09:57 pm UTC (link)
I rejoice!

(Reply to this)


[info]skjaere
2006-09-26 10:01 pm UTC (link)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! *reads* *remembers to breathe* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(Reply to this)


[info]a_t_rain
2006-09-26 10:11 pm UTC (link)
The Love Squid is back! How beautyrul!

(Reply to this)


[info]randomspectator
2006-09-26 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Squee!

(Reply to this)


[info]_greensweater
2006-09-26 10:31 pm UTC (link)
WOOT!!

People you despise: Pansy
People you just down right hate: Harry Potter, all the Weasleys, Hermoine Granger


Um, is there a difference? Or does Draco just hate so many people he has to make categories for all the different kinds of hate?

(Reply to this)


[info]miss_chamomile
2006-09-26 10:36 pm UTC (link)
...She wrote the lyrics to THE WITCH DOCTOR?

Also, how creepy is this:
Well as well as being married to the most gorgeous slytherin I am also sleeping with my best friends’ Harry and Ginny. Both share a room and a bed with my husband and I.
Not to mention gramatically incorrect.

But I mean really... what kind of childhood did this poor soul have?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ardys_the_ghoul
2006-09-26 11:41 pm UTC (link)
Maybe her parents were swingers?

Or something.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]falterfrei, 2006-09-27 10:46 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]virtuistic, 2006-09-28 05:43 am UTC (Expand)

[info]sevthebat
2006-09-26 10:38 pm UTC (link)
Minerva MacGonnagag was having a gift from Hagrid. It contaminated a balst.ended Skerwt and a Buckbeak. She was smi,ling happily ever after.

Babb! I missed you. And now I am smi,ling happily ever after. ;D

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]greyannabel
2006-09-27 11:10 am UTC (link)
Man, this one HAS to be the result of an online translator. I hope.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]razorwireshrine
2006-09-26 10:38 pm UTC (link)
She was short about 5,2 or so, almost half the size of Sirius,

i really cannot stop laughing at the image of a ten-foot-tall sirius wandering the halls XD

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]seaislewitch
2006-09-26 11:31 pm UTC (link)
*sniggers*

Ten-foot Sirius is too funny.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]periazhad, 2006-09-27 04:05 am UTC (Expand)

[info]stage_zip
2006-09-26 10:46 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry ... but that whole love dodecohedron is soooooooo wrong. I'm not a judgemental person, but a bunch of teenagers getting married at school and all sleeping together ... Hm.

-Breathe in-

"Dudley you pig, the guy with the red hair is Ronald Weasley and the chick next to him is his wife Hermione they are my best friends the guy behind me with the blonde hair is Draco Malfoy he is also my best friend, and the woman next to you with her wand drawn is HIS wife Shannon, the one beside her is MY wife her name is Ginny you will come with us, you are our servant"

-Gasp for breathe-
-Dudley stares-

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]skjaere
2006-09-26 11:19 pm UTC (link)
And these are apparently the "good guys", as the author is quick to remind us.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]danel4d, 2006-09-27 09:56 am UTC (Expand)

[info]agatha_s
2006-09-26 10:46 pm UTC (link)
I'm so glad you're back! And I'm so glad the "love squid" author is writing again (it just has to be the same person as before!)

“Euge, Lils, I don’t think you’ve noticed” (which was Eugenia’s nickname)

And I thought Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson had a weird nickname.

I suppose if u’ve read other chapters you know what James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter look like, of course they resemble their amigi

Shouldn't that be "amigos"?

"I would like to get to my volt, Zod Evilcleaver." Draco said normally, as if nothing was going on.

I haven't had much respect for Draco up until now, but I have to admit that being able to say "I would like to get to my volt, Zod Evilcleaver" without bursting into laughter is an impressive feat. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]r_a_black
2006-09-27 12:56 am UTC (link)
Ooh, icon love.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]redmapletree, 2006-09-27 02:31 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]panonychus, 2006-09-29 09:37 am UTC (Expand)

[info]hiriledhel
2006-09-26 10:47 pm UTC (link)
I am Nikki, which is short for Monica Christine Maura Marguerite, Princess Royale of Shannogia

Shannogia. That's an lol.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]csc_lupisstone
2006-09-27 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Where does the Nikki come from? o_o *forgets not to question Badthor logic*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]miss_daizy, 2006-09-27 05:57 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]stage_zip
2006-09-26 10:48 pm UTC (link)
"They were infatuated by her eyes and her curves, and all of the things on the outside"

Pretty sure no-one would be interested in her liver.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]tecno_fairy
2006-09-27 12:23 am UTC (link)
"Mmmm, that's a pretty sexy liver you've got there. Check out that bile production!"

Er... no.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]mylla
2006-09-26 10:50 pm UTC (link)
Yaaaaay!!!!

*plunges right in*

“Euge, Lils, I don’t think you’ve noticed” (which was Eugenia’s nickname)

Wow. My nickname is SHORTER than my real name. This chick's managed to add 5 syllables to HER name.


She was short about 5,2 or so, almost half the size of Sirius

We learn the real reason Sirius and his family didn't get along... his mother's affair with a giant. Sirius never guessed he wasn't his father's son, but he did wonder why he had trouble fitting through doors like normal people.


Shannon Granger-Malfoy-Potter-Weasley

Sue Radar: *breaks*
(which is fortunate, as I don't think I would have coped with any of the other excerpts from that fic. WTF?)


Nikki, which is short for Monica Christine Maura Marguerite, Princess Royale of Shannogia

And that one trips off the Troll Radar.


The magical twin brother John wrote a poem too!

Is the magical twin brother John related to Evil John?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]mylla
2006-09-26 10:51 pm UTC (link)
No, wait. Maybe it's only four extra syllables. Whatever.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]virtuistic, 2006-09-28 05:47 am UTC (Expand)

[info]caithream
2006-09-26 11:00 pm UTC (link)
In recent times, the couples have also been given a jewel to care for. The jewels are to represent responsibility, or as the students say- children. These jewels must never be left alone.’ Dumbledore took as sip from his goblet and continued.

So, ahahah, remember when you were in middle school and the teacher assigned you this project where you had to take care of a hard-boiled egg for a day or something, and you had to color it with a smiley face and hair, and carry it around all day in a little basket with green plastic grass, and if it got cracked you got points docked off your grade?

Hmm....

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]westerlies
2006-09-26 11:09 pm UTC (link)
do people really do that? or is it just on saved by the bell and similar shows?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]caithream, 2006-09-26 11:10 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sharselune, 2006-09-26 11:35 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ardys_the_ghoul, 2006-09-26 11:44 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]periazhad, 2006-09-27 04:07 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]onyx_noir, 2006-09-27 12:51 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]freckles42, 2006-09-27 01:36 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fantomeq, 2006-09-27 02:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rachelmanija, 2006-09-27 03:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2006-09-27 08:26 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]morgi, 2006-09-27 10:07 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rachelmanija, 2006-09-27 08:52 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rachelmanija, 2006-09-27 08:52 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ilya1, 2006-09-27 03:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]periazhad, 2006-09-27 04:08 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]nappingathena, 2006-09-27 04:48 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jenny_islander, 2006-11-22 08:35 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ryttu3k
2006-09-26 11:13 pm UTC (link)
Time with no Babb Chron has reduced my tolerance levels. I can't even snark. It burns. It BURNS.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]purple_snitch
2006-09-27 07:01 am UTC (link)
Glass House FTW!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-09-27 07:11 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]purple_snitch, 2006-09-27 07:14 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-09-27 07:23 am UTC (Expand)

[info]r05km
2006-09-26 11:16 pm UTC (link)
*punches air* YUSS! LOVE-SQUID!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mini_snape
2006-10-16 10:03 pm UTC (link)
OMG you're here as well. It's like a crazy badfic reunion.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]r05km, 2006-10-16 10:32 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mini_snape, 2006-10-16 11:12 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]r05km, 2006-10-16 11:21 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mini_snape, 2006-10-17 11:58 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]r05km, 2006-10-17 12:42 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mini_snape, 2006-10-17 01:00 pm UTC (Expand)
Scathing remarks, part one
[info]skjaere
2006-09-26 11:16 pm UTC (link)
I don’t know if it’s only in books they marry the students together for a project.

Which books are these exactly? Yeah, they were *always* encouraging us to pair off when I was in high school. "Hey, you kids!" they would say, "You're not shagging enough. Shag some more. That's better."

“Euge, Lils, I don’t think you’ve noticed” (which was Eugenia’s nickname)

That's a hell of a nickname. But more unique than Genie, I grant you.

Jessabelle Sorensen (Midge for short)

Aside from this being really awful exposition, how exactly is "Midge" short for "Jessabelle Sorensen"?

I suppose if u’ve read other chapters you know what James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter look like,

Or if you've read anything written by J.K. Rowling.... And how exactly is 5'9" close to 6'2"? Five inches is a fair amount of difference in height.

Name: Draco Malfoy...
Birthday: July 9
Age: 18
House/Year: Slytherin/7th


So...this is a story about why Draco was held back a year? Summer babies are 17 in their 7th year, aren't they?

Name: Draco Malfoy [canon]
Hair: blond [canon]
Eye color: blue [a quick check of the Lexicon says "gray and cold"]
Weight: 148 lbs. [a reasonable guess, I suppose]
Height: 5’10” [could be]
Birthday: July 9 [Lexicon says June 5]
Age: 18 [not if he's still in 7th year]
House/Year: Slytherin/7th [not if he's 18, unless this is the heartwarming tale of why Draco flunked a year at Hogwarts]
Family: Lucius Malfoy (father), Narissa Malfoy (mother) [canon]
Friends: Blaise Zambini, Goyle, Crabbe [or possibly Blaise Zabini, Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe, if we're using full names]
People you despise: Pansy [I do not think that word means what you think it means...]
People you just down right hate: Harry Potter, all the Weasleys, Hermoine Granger [canon, but let's not forget Dumbledore, Lupin, and anyone who dresses shabbier than his fashion-icon father]
Quidditch Position: seeker [canon]
Favorite Quidditch team: Bulgarian National Team [nothing to suggest otherwise]
Favorite color: green and black [erm...]
Favorite class: none [except potions?]
Favorite candy: anything sour [eh?]
Favorite Band: Maroon 5, ACDC, White Snake, Simple Plan, etc. [and now we've drifted into authorial avatar...]
Favorite food: chocolate, pasta, Mexican rice [yeah, uh-huh]
Career: quidditch [didn't realise the DE had their own team. I bet they get a lot of penalties for Avada Kedavra'ing the other players]
Mudblood or Pureblood [well, if we have to guess...]
Favorite movie: [...and now we're clear off the map.]
Queen of the damned
Lord of the Rings
Pirates of the Caribbean
Master and Commander: of the far side of/on the World
King Arthur
Rose Red
Matrix
Underworld
X-men


Draco slamming his lips down on mine made me stopped me. He licks along my bottom lip wanting no begging for an entrance; I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in.

Where do kids these days learn that good = violent when it comes to kissing? Having someone's tongue jammed down your throat after they've apparently headbutted you is NOT SEXY.

Blaise Zabini- what do I know about him? He's around 6 foot 2.. has this gorgeous olive-colored skin.. an Italian.. addicted to coffee. He has this black curly, messy hair and the bluest eyes you'd ever see anywhere.

God, I hope this was written before HBP, otherwise we are looking at a major-league case of denial.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

Re: Scathing remarks, part one
[info]periazhad
2006-09-27 04:10 am UTC (link)
And how exactly is 5'9" close to 6'2"? Five inches is a fair amount of difference in height.

I am ashamed to say I was thinking, 'wait, that's only THREE inches...how is it five...oh, shit.' In my defence, I'm tired. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

Re: Scathing remarks, part one - [info]kakeochi_umai, 2006-09-27 03:00 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: Scathing remarks, part one - [info]islingtonroad, 2006-09-27 02:14 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: Scathing remarks, part one - [info]kibbls, 2006-09-28 01:58 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: Scathing remarks, part one - [info]skjaere, 2006-09-28 04:12 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: Scathing remarks, part one - [info]vytresna, 2006-10-02 06:58 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: Scathing remarks, part one - [info]purplefog, 2006-10-08 08:19 am UTC (Expand)
Scathing remarks, part two
[info]skjaere
2006-09-26 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Well as well as being married to the most gorgeous slytherin I am also sleeping with my best friends’ Harry and Ginny. Both share a room and a bed with my husband and I.
So really I am married to Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter as much as I am married to my husband and if you asked them they would all say that they were married to each other as well.


*stares at screen* *shakes head* Greedy little 'Sue, aren't we? Dumbledore's replacement has a lot to answer for, letting students get away with these kinds of shennanigans on school grounds.

As if to prove our point Harry kissed both Albus and Severus on the mouth and Draco followed suit first kissing Severus then Albus.
When they were finished greeting their ‘father and grandfather’ they both came over and kissed us in turn, these kisses were passionate and soft. Then as if to push home our point they turned and kissed each other.


Is anyone else wondering how these people ever get anything done?

She was sure that very few of them knew her middle name (it was Meria) or her favorite color (deep purple). She hated being the object of their superficial fantasies.

Whoa! She has a middle name *and* a favourite colour? That's so...deep!

"You have a visitor."Madame Mosley said rash and she led me into her office. "Linka this Mr.Lupin."' ...sounds a bit like an insult to me.

...what?

I am here in Paris! We have been shopping all day! I found my dress robes in a shop called Madam Milleena’s Million Robes for all Occasions. They are gorgeous! The color is lavender silk stitched with tiny sparkling flowers on the neckline and sleeves. I also got a pair for the Christmas ball at Hogwarts; those are pale blue glitter. I also got a pair of enchanted glass slippers with silver glitter heels. The slippers are enchanted so they will never break and never hurt your feet.

I have to say that, while still vomit-inducing, this is a cut above the way most Suethors dress their avatars, in that at the very least, she has not succumbed to contemporary Muggle fashion.

This was a challenge set by my buddy The Hezzmeister (don’t ask). She said that I had to have: 1 Snape in Pokemon boxers and Pikachu slippers.
2 I have to incorporate the sentence, “I am pickle; hear me roar.”
3 Ron must be wearing a thong at some point.
4 Draco must have prettyful blond ringlets.


The challenge was "I bet you can't write anything good that incorporates these elements". Guess who won?

And also, dumbleodre was twingking in his seat because he was getting a really big box from professor Ambdige and that contained a big toad that was marvelously green. Like Harry’s eyes
and he as too. The woldemort danger was there still. It was a happy valentine masquerade and Voldemort was dressed as a panther.


I'm sure I'm not the first to say, "lay off the crack". What the hell is "twingking" anyway? Or do I not want to know? Exciting new spelling of Voldemort, though. I keep waiting for someone to come up with Waldemart. Now that would be true evil.

Hernione was a happy girl too because Goyle had sent her a rose that was sinning Happy birthday and casting golden love dust a,ll over.

Does that sound dirty to anyone else? If I were Hermione, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want Crabbe's "golden love dust". Also, really hoping English is not this person's first language.

It was a pretty bad poem so we’re not publishing int.

After everything this author *has* chosen to share with us, I shudder to think what that poem must have been like.

"I would like to get to my volt, Zod Evilcleaver." Draco said normally, as if nothing was going on.

It's so cute when they try to pretend they're not high.

"We have, Miss Granger, The Shining Through robes. They are a Glamorous pink satin sweeps over white satin at bust and side on this must have strapless gown. Glittering rhinestones highlight the unavoidable splendor of this dress. Open back is magnificent with a hidden back zipper. The Fabric Contents of Polyester." Madam Kenya said to her.

"What?" said Hermione, confused. She backed slowly away from the woman. "Where's Madam Malkin? I just need some new school robes."


Thank you for not deserting us! We love you!

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

Re: Scathing remarks, part two
[info]mylla
2006-09-27 01:54 am UTC (link)
Is anyone else wondering how these people ever get anything done?

Heyyy, you just came up with a Really Good Theory on why it takes Voldemort a whole year to carry out any Evil Plot he might conceive. Too busy kissing people. *nods*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Re: Scathing remarks, part two - [info]icanseethebunny, 2006-09-27 05:11 am UTC (Expand)

[info]sharselune
2006-09-26 11:38 pm UTC (link)
"You have a visitor."Madame Mosley said rash and she led me into her office. "Linka this Mr.Lupin."' ...sounds a bit like an insult to me.

Linka THIS, Mr. Lupin! *pelvic thrust*

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]r_a_black
2006-09-27 01:04 am UTC (link)
Or "Your mom's a Linka!"

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-09-27 07:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]r_a_black, 2006-09-27 10:38 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-09-28 03:19 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kiss_chan, 2006-11-03 03:39 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-11-03 03:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kiss_chan, 2006-11-05 10:30 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-11-05 11:16 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kiss_chan, 2006-11-06 01:28 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryttu3k, 2006-11-06 02:15 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-28 03:52 am UTC (Expand)

[info]chrysantza
2006-09-26 11:42 pm UTC (link)
I don't know which made me laugh more:

1) "Zod Evilcleaver"

2) The very notion of Draco Malfoy being a fan of AC/DC and Whitesnake

or 3) Imagining the look on Minerva "McGonnagag"'s face when she gets her Valentine's Day gift from Hagrid! "A Blast-Ended Skrewt? Oh, Rubeus, you shouldn't have!"

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]r_a_black
2006-09-27 01:07 am UTC (link)
No no see, " It contaminated a balst.ended Skerwt and a Buckbeak."

We don't find out what the letter actually holds, we just know the letter itself contaminated a Skrewt and Buckbeak (or A Buckbeack, apparently). So for all we know "McGonnagag" is now contaminated as well.

Even besides the "contaminated" bit, how the hell do you fit either of those in a letter?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]absurdwords, 2006-09-27 03:50 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]tabbiecat
2006-09-27 12:00 am UTC (link)
BABB!! *glomp*

Jessabelle Sorensen (Midge for short)

My name is Alexandria Taffeta Rainwater. Call me Betty.

I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in.

Oh never mind, it was just a slug.

They were infatuated by her eyes and her curves, and all of the things on the outside.

Except that one strange boy who kept looking at her spleen.

Valentina’s day was extryingful.

What... I mean what?

Oohy what a Veela, like a Sheela from beaty and the brgyutuful.

*brain gurgles*

Open back is magnificent with a hidden back zipper.

So the zipper's... in her back?

Welcome back!! *sends much love*

(Reply to this)


[info]ardys_the_ghoul
2006-09-27 12:12 am UTC (link)
Relative new-comer to Babb here. Been lurking around for awhile now.

She was short about 5,2 or so, almost half the size of Sirius, but apparently that’s why he loves her, so he can pick her up because she’s so small, hence the nickname Midge, like midget.

Okay, I'm five feet and eleven inches, so to me five feet and two inches is pretty short. Not "midget-like," but short. Not that uncommon, really. But I have trouble believing that Sirius is ten feet and four inches tall. Unless he's really Hagrid and Grawp's long-lost brother who the Black Family adopted for reasons best left to speculation.

Weight: 148 lbs.
Height: 5’10”


Again, I'm 5'11". I will never weigh one hundred and forty-eight pounds, unless I decide for some reason that food is overrated.

Favorite food: chocolate, pasta, Mexican rice

Why do I smell pepper jack cheese?

Draco slamming his lips down on mine made me stopped me. He licks along my bottom lip wanting no begging for an entrance; I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in.

You know, in my experience guys don't actually ask permission before they stick their tongue down your throat. You're just kind of kissing and then, "Hello!"

Blaise Zabini- what do I know about him? He's around 6 foot 2.. has this gorgeous olive-colored skin.. an Italian.. addicted to coffee. He has this black curly, messy hair and the bluest eyes you'd ever see anywhere.

You must be thinking of a different Blaise Zabini from the one I know.

So really I am married to Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter as much as I am married to my husband and if you asked them they would all say that they were married to each other as well.

Suddenly, Polygamy reaches a whole knew level of creepy.

She hated being the object of their superficial fantasies.

Yeah, men are such pigs.

...you could detect malice from the glint in her teeth to the smell of her perfume (it smelled like poison.)

What kind of poison? Not all poison smells the same, you know. Cyanide smells like almonds; did it smell like almonds?

"Linka this Mr.Lupin."' ...sounds a bit like an insult to me.

They must be speaking Simlish.

Hernione was a happy girl too because Goyle had sent her a rose that was sinning Happy birthday and casting golden love dust a,ll over.

You know, I don't think even Hermione is desperate enough to be glad about getting a gift from Gregory Goyle.

And Snape WAS sending a Polyjuice Potion gift for the new DADA techer who drank it happily and became a fairy.

The new DADA "techer" was immediately rushed to the hospital wing, since Polyjuice isn't supposed to be used for animal transformations. Which Snape knew very well, of course, the sly bastard.

It was a pretty bad poem so we’re not publishing int.

Why not? It never stopped you before.

"We have, Miss Granger, The Shining Through robes. They are a Glamorous pink satin sweeps over white satin at bust and side on this must have strapless gown. Glittering rhinestones highlight the unavoidable splendor of this dress. Open back is magnificent with a hidden back zipper. The Fabric Contents of Polyester." Madam Kenya said to her.

Is it just me, or does this paragraph sound like it's been run through a blender?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]periazhad
2006-09-27 04:13 am UTC (link)
Favorite food: chocolate, pasta, Mexican rice

Why do I smell pepper jack cheese?


*loves* You WIN!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]tea_elle, 2006-09-27 05:01 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2006-09-27 08:20 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-09-28 03:59 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elaureth, 2006-09-28 04:17 am UTC (Expand)
(Aha, posted too soon)
[info]lavinialavender
2006-09-27 12:35 am UTC (link)
I cannot, of course, express my joy and happiness that you are back and there is another post. But oh, I had actually forgotten all the wonders of [info]babb_chronicles - the really awkward descriptions attemping Mary-Sue sexiness (My light violet eyes are open wide, and look somewhat unnatural on my white face, and my silky black hair is messy from sleep, reaching a few centimetres above my waist. My little lavender nightgown goes halfway down my thighs, hanging loosely off of my petite shoulders with thin straps, keeping me cool in the hot summer weather.), the virgin make-out descriptions (Draco slamming his lips down on mine made me stopped me. He licks along my bottom lip wanting no begging for an entrance; I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in.), the complete and utter random plots (the huge orgy-family) that are also unbelievably OOC and include so many transparent fantasies, the obvious troll-work (the whole Valentine's Day thing), and the completely priceless lines: "I would like to get to my volt, Zod Evilcleaver." Draco said normally, as if nothing was going on.

(Reply to this)


[info]onyx_noir
2006-09-27 01:03 am UTC (link)
Yay! You're back!!

would like to get to my volt, Zod Evilcleaver."

Maybe I'm just showing my age. But I can't help thinking that some kind of 'Leave it to Beaver' crossover should be done. Just so I could use the name "Beaver Evilcleaver" in a sentence.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]fantomeq
2006-09-27 02:53 am UTC (link)
I've been watching your icon for like five minutes. *Loves*

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]onyx_noir, 2006-09-27 06:39 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rachelmanija, 2006-09-27 03:18 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]icanseethebunny, 2006-09-27 05:15 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]onyx_noir, 2006-09-27 06:41 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]wolf_hawk, 2006-09-27 03:27 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]onyx_noir, 2006-09-27 06:43 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jennday, 2006-09-27 09:36 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]wolf_hawk, 2006-09-27 02:08 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sevthebat, 2006-09-27 04:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]onyx_noir, 2006-09-27 06:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]virtuistic, 2006-09-28 06:03 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ladysparrow, 2006-09-29 08:44 am UTC (Expand)
*points to icon*
[info]la_fono
2006-09-27 01:20 am UTC (link)
Hello! ♥

Gabrielle (Fluors twin siister) ...is only visible under a blacklight.


They had all grown immensely, especially Peter which was strange considering that he still he resembled a mouse but finally looked like he had grown into his chubbiness. Remus was still the tallest at 6-5, then Sirius being 6-3. Not far form that was James having grown to his full height was now 6-2. And surprisingly Peter was close behind at 5-9. (an: I suppose if u’ve read other chapters you know what James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter look like, of course they resemble their amigi but I don’t really want to spend pages on what they look like)

Is this the manly!Marauder equivalent to 'changed over the summer'? Inches in all the right places?
...
*kicks brain out of gutter*


"You have a visitor."Madame Mosley said rash and she led me into her office.
"Thank you, Madam Mosley," I said psoriasis.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: *points to icon*
[info]lavinialavender
2006-09-27 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Is this the manly!Marauder equivalent to 'changed over the summer'? Inches in all the right places?
AHAHAHA, LOVE. I totallly want fics to start using that now. "He had changed, and now had inches in all the right places."

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(170 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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