The Babbling Chronicles ([info]babb_chronicles) wrote,
@ 2009-02-18 23:14:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend  Next Entry
Current mood: most interfered
Current music:a hint of giggle

Part CCXXVIII - her inventible orgasm
Sorry for the relatively long absence. I was without an internet connection for almost three weeks and then RL most unexpectedly got in the way. Anyway, Babb`s back - hope it leaves you laughing with roar. ;)


(link)
Summery: This story is about a small boy called Harry who is abused by his relatives and he is very smart for his age. Young harry, smart harry, abused lonely harry, Harry knows that his father is alive and who he is and finds out he is adopted read on if your wish to, SS/HP father/son A.N: hello im the author ^_^
*
Harry: okay /DISCLAIMERS: she dose not own Harry Potter or naruto if she did there would be a whole lot of yaoi pairings or farther/son families and the only thing she dose own is a character called roseabell onixandra riddle as she (the author) made her up and the author will point out bits in this story that she has made up and don’t really exist.
Title Screen change ________And chapter end Parsons prov
(Authors notes)
“ Talking “
‘Thoughts ‘
“SHOUTING”
*
My name is Harry short for Harold though the people (a.n: if they can be classed as a human)
That im forced to live with call me boy or freak,
Im five and half years old and live on number 4 privet drive,
I started to go to school with baby whale (a.n or B.W for short) a few months back…

*
Yes I know what wizards call non-magical parsons
*
harry got bored and leaned on one of the piles of boxes accidentally knocking over one ov the boxes harry looked at the stuff that had fallen out of the box, what had fallen out of the box was books
*
(A.n just so you all know I have NO clue what a real adoption paper looks like)
Terms and conditions
(A.n im gunna skip the conditions and jump 2 the interesting part)
Childs birth name: Onixander Severus Snape.
Paternal fathers name: Severus Tobias Snape.
Maternal mothers name: --Un known—
Godparents name: Lucius Malfoy
*
At reading this harry had been shocked before he got over it quickly as he heard the step on the stairs creak signalling someone was coming up the stairs, harry quickly hid the stuff he had found but kept a small A5 sized empty journal covered in what looked like bright emerald green snake skin but harry found out when opening the front cover that it was dragon skin, harry had hid the book in one of the hidden pockets he had made in the over sized top he had to were, after he finished tidying up the rest of the boxes he headed down the stairs and finished of the other chores that where on the list Vernon had given him before going to work that morning as he passed his cupboard he hid the book under his small mattress before eny one noticed.
*
It was the most cloudiest and rainiest days in June that privet drive had ever seen,
*
a large obese
(a.n: or if u wanna b nice ill push it to big beefy) man with no neck got out
*
I thought ‘ill make him pay for what he has done to me soon oh so soon he will be a laughing stock mwa hahahaha
(a.n: tehe who would have thought he had such and evil mind tehe) I decided to finish the stupid chore I had been given so as not to be punished again Merlin I hate dumbledoor for he is the one that stuck me with these stupid muggle’s
(a.n: that is if they can be classed human) Merlin’s saggy old left ball ill be glad when I get out of this place’
*
When Dudley (a.n or as harry calls him, B/W baby whale lol) suddenly came up behind him and smacked him across the back off the head with one off the dry plates that was on the counter next to the sink ready to be put away into the cupboard,
Dudley had smashed the pure white plate across Harry’s head, which had effectively embedded china shards into Harry’s skull,
*
It had been a long but quite day for a young paramedic called William Thomson (A.N: I do not own the name but I do own the character)
*
There lying on his back was what looked like a four year old child with a growing puddle of blood round his head, after a few seconds I snapped into action and headed over to the boy’s head, while thinking ‘ oh sweet Mississippi’s pantaloons’,
*
After placing the book in my back pocket I picked the boy back up in the same bridle style as before I had stuck him down and carried him out to my car
*
Hello my name is sally gemstone im the receptionist of cococapay hospital its not far
From surrey to get to cococapay hospital you need to take the off junction of palm
Motorway which is next to the hospital,
**
(link)
(the fic`s summary)
So this is one about Draco and my own made up character Ophelia it's a bit ruanchy so don't read it unless you don't mind ruanchiness. "Bathtubs,Windows,and Beds Oh My!"
*
Ophelia fell over herself trying to get out of the tub ready to run when she realized it was Malfoy in the tub.
*
"Your kinda cute when you blush and one of the perks of being a prefict is you get your own room."
*
She had been asleep for awhile when Draco got up to cast the wishing spell for lady at the spell shop had told him it would grant it subject one wish for a day but as soon as the day was over the would know it was a gift.
*
A/N: ok so next chapter is going to be like extremely sexualish Draco and Ophelia have their first romantic encounter
*
Malfoy rubbed his thumbs over her nipple's and sucked them in between his teeth.
**
(link)
Harry looked up from his Herb Homework and spotted Hermione’s skirt, up further than it should be. No panties were where they should have been. Harry, who had only dreamed of these moments from Wizard porn, was most interfered.
*
End her over and penetrate both her holes, Harry wanted Hermione bad and for a long time.
*
Well, then Harry, come on. I guess All perverts get there day…» said Hermione as Harry began to make room for his Penis in her pussy.
«Oh Harry, I’ve never done this before! I’m a Virgin! Be gentaAAALL!" she yelled as Harry had Broken Through her Hymen whom no one expected.
«HHHHHhhhHHHAAaaaaaaarryyyYYYYYy» said Hermione as Harry got Hermione going. He began to engage in rugler stroking and found is demanding, but the payoff of taking Hermione’s Virginity was great.
*
Her breath was shorting now, the feeling of another organism had now become known to her after about four minutes of sex with the famed Harry potter.
«Uuuuhhhh Har, Har, Har, Harry, I’m Going to Cummmm! » Revealed Hermione as Harry still hammered away.
«AAAAauhhoooooooooyyeeaa Harry!"
«Uh, Hermione, Here is commeesssssss!" Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.
*
«Harry! I’ Might have a baby! » She said, still breathing quite deep from her Orgasm. She had yet to get her breath back. Harry who was still inside here didn’t mind one bit as he gave an «uhhhhhhhyyyyeeaaaaa» to signal he had came.
*
«Um Harry, can you demount me now? I’ve got to get back to my books» said Hermione who was still up against the Bathroom wall with a hint of giggle.
*
Harry notices some of her features too; her lovely red hair was enough to be boner inducing but that was just the tip of her head.
*
He picked up his bed, and pulled out a magic Vagina. It was a fake but felt real. All you did was stick your dick in it and ask it to suck, fuck, or be a asshole to fuck.
*
“Oh Ginny, oh Ginny, how are you so tight?! Fuck I’m going to cum all in your pussy!” he said loudly, and he did just that. But instead of hearing a voice of approval, he heard a “STOP Harry!”
Ginny then got off of Harry, sweating and he pussy dripping, and told Harry why.
“I want you to fuck my ass Harry; you’re the first man and the only man for me. I want it to be your cock that goes into both my holes.” Said Ginny.
*
“Fuck Harry!” Cursed Ginny, as she soon came closer to her inventible orgasm.
“Uhhhhhhhh” Ginny said near a yell now, and Harry wondered why no one had heard her yells yet. He soon didn’t care one bit and began to enter his organism at a surprising speed.
**(link)      (Pottersues report)
She flew upwards towards the snitch but to her unfortunate luck one of the chasers grabbed the back of her broom.
"RAPE! RAPE!" she yelled.
He let go causing her to fly right towards the snitch and swallowing it.
*
Minerva turned away from him with tears streaming down her beautiful face.
"Minerva, I never meant to hurt you. I love you more than life itself."
She turned back to him. Suddenly out of nowhere she threw herself into his arms and sobbed on his robes. He sank down to his knees with her in his arms and stroked her long and beautiful black hair.
*
Professor Snape circled around the two students while tears were heard from Professor Trelawney and Minerva. Remus put a comforting arm around Sybil to try to calm her down and tell her that everything was going to be alright.
"Draco you are one of my favorite students but you have sunk down to one of my most hated due to that fact that you like Miss Potter." He pulled out a knife. Minerva knew what he was going to do with it. He was either going to slash Draco's cheek or her cheek. She was right. He walked over slowly towards her while holding the knife in his hand. Harry glared at him with anger and hate in his heart. Finally the blade touched Minerva's left cheek. If he did slash her cheek she would stand tall as wounds were inflicted upon her. He slowly pulled the blade down her cheek, making it painful and un-forgetful. She nearly screamed in pain but instead she winced for she would not be a wuss as she was being tortured. He did the same to her other cheek, slicing her precious skin, slicing across her crescent and lightning bolt scar on her cheek that she received when she was only a year old.
*
Serveus just grinned and evil grin. He grabbed Minerva by the arm, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.
Harry stood up. "PROFESSOR SNAPE YOU HAVE GONE FAR ENOUGH!" He shouted.
Serveus threw Minerva onto the ground. Harry walked up to him with hate in his eyes. Serveus ran his fingers up, down, and across Harry's face.
"You are just like your father when he was your age. Brave, ambitious, and ready for a fight at any given moment." Snape picked Minerva up again but this time he threw her against a wall. She didn't want to die not now but she blacked out before she could get up.
While she was blacked out Harry and Draco (can you believe it Harry and Draco teaming up together?) teamed up to fight against Serveus but unfortunately Snape changed himself into an owl and flew out of the castle.
*
Soon Draco's body rose up into the air. Minerva looked up. Tears no longer fell down her cheeks. She watched as his body transformed into the man he was before he became evil. His hair turned to a brighter color and his eyes gleamed more. He no longer had a cold heart but it was kind and warm.
**(link)      (Pottersues report)
As the figure stepped in to the hall and began to make her way up to the head table gasps and murmurs began to be heard. The gasps were for one reason, and the talking was all along the same lines, ".... She’s beautiful...." “.... Gorgeous..." ".... Never seen anything that compares, well maybe a vela, but nothing else..."
Harry gasped when he saw her. 'She looks like an angel, a dark angel, but still an angel' and indeed she did, she had long black hair so dark it looked like it had blue highlights, bright blue eyes, she was 5' 7", she was thin but as she walked you could see the muscles moving across her body. She wore black pants tucked into knee high black leather boots, a black, tight, sleeveless shirt that had the words Bad ass above a picture of a angle with black wings and fangs, over all this she wore a black leather trench coat. She walked up to the head table with her hands stuck in the pockets of her coat and with a grace none had seen before.
*
She moved her hands and arranged the tables so that the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables were in the center and the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables were on the outside. She then lowered the tables back on the ground. The Slytherins and Gryffindors glared at each other from their tables.
Kuro chuckled 'kids are so funny now a days. Have to remember I’m supposed to be sixteen so I have to act like them. Damn.' Kuro then waved her had and a small section of table appeared between the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables at the opposite end of the hall from the head table. She waived her hand again and a black throne like chair appeared there. Kuro then turned to face Dumbledore.
"Is that acceptable kocho?"
"Yes it seems to work."
**(link)      (Pottersues report)
“I hope my muse did not leave me,” they looked confused, “I write songs. Sarah and I are in a band.” Their mouths formed “O”s
*
We turned to see a grease ball with legs, which we have to call a professor.
“Hello, professor Snape.” Hermione said looking at the picture of my mom and her brother.
“As the headmaster said, let’s not be missing any part of my room.” His voice matched Mr. Malfoy’s.
“Yes, sir.” Sarah and I chimed together. After that he just walked off with his robes flailing on the wind.
*
“You’re in love. That is the only thing I can tell you about them.” with that she walked off. ‘Love!?!? Me in love! She has lost her mind, just like her hoodie says.’
**(link)      (Pottersues report)
You would think that being the daughter to the Boy Who Lived was all fun and games wouldn’t you? Well, no, unfortunately, it wasn’t. You see, Harry never married Ginny Weasley. Instead, he married a woman named Brianne Riddle. Yes, that’s correct…Brianne Riddle.
*
It was especially hard for Lily to make any friends at Hogwarts. Not to mention she had some special powers that she had trouble controlling. She wore these special gloves to keep them under control.
*
While Voldemort did not die, he was still very weak. As Head Auror, it was Harry’s objective to catch any of the Death Eaters that had escaped Azkaban, and were starting trouble.
This drove Brianne insane. That was mostly due to the fact that she was one of those Death Eaters, as was her daughter, Lily. Lily was seen as Lord Voldemort’s gem, and he often called upon her for assignments and missions. Lily didn’t mind it at first, but Lord Voldemort was calling upon her for too much lately. It was starting to make her uneasy.
*
She was one of the most loved and hated students in Hogwarts. She excelled in pretty much everything.
*
Harry nearly fell backwards at Bree’s choice of words. They cut through him like a stake cuts a vampire.


Thanks to:
[info]elethian for the fic featuring young paramedic William Thomson
[info]ija_ijewna for the extremely sexualish Draco/OC fic



(84 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]lily_phoenix731
2009-02-19 12:27 am UTC (link)
“Oh Ginny, oh Ginny, how are you so tight?! Fuck I’m going to cum all in your pussy!” he said loudly, and he did just that. But instead of hearing a voice of approval, he heard a “STOP Harry!”
Ginny then got off of Harry, sweating and he pussy dripping, and told Harry why.
“I want you to fuck my ass Harry; you’re the first man and the only man for me. I want it to be your cock that goes into both my holes.” Said Ginny.


I always knew Ginny was a dirty whore.


Her breath was shorting now, the feeling of another organism had now become known to her after about four minutes of sex with the famed Harry potter.
«Uuuuhhhh Har, Har, Har, Harry, I’m Going to Cummmm! » Revealed Hermione as Harry still hammered away.
«AAAAauhhoooooooooyyeeaa Harry!"
«Uh, Hermione, Here is commeesssssss!" Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.


So that's how it works? Hmm...

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]r05km
2009-02-19 12:40 am UTC (link)
"Activating penis!"
There was an uncomfortable pause. Hermione looked back over her shoulder to see what was going on. Harry was staring down at his crotch looking flustered and embarrassed.

"Shit," he said, desperately cranking the manual overdrive, " I think it's out of battery."

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]elenorasweet, 2009-02-19 01:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]eskimosatan, 2009-02-19 03:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pouletinbondage, 2009-02-19 04:03 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rizny, 2009-02-19 06:26 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ija_ijewna, 2009-02-27 02:27 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]ppyajunebug
2009-02-19 12:29 am UTC (link)
Malfoy rubbed his thumbs over her nipple's and sucked them in between his teeth.

Those are quite the gap teeth Malfoy has there...it sounds like he's flossing...

She flew upwards towards the snitch but to her unfortunate luck one of the chasers grabbed the back of her broom.
"RAPE! RAPE!" she yelled.
He let go causing her to fly right towards the snitch and swallowing it.


Wow, some diversionary tactics going on there...



(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]elenorasweet
2009-02-19 01:17 am UTC (link)
How would you support that claim, being in a quidditch pitch surrounded by busy stands...?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]eir_de_scania, 2009-02-19 05:32 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]eskimosatan, 2009-02-19 03:04 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]vvvexation, 2009-02-19 08:57 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]reipan, 2009-02-20 05:43 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]vvvexation, 2009-02-20 09:40 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ardys_the_ghoul, 2009-02-20 08:49 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ainself
2009-02-19 12:45 am UTC (link)
Paternal fathers name: Severus Tobias Snape.
Maternal mothers name: --Un known—

Fascinating. We seem to have discovered one of the few cases of mpreg in a heterosexual relationship.
Also, all his fathers have the same name?
Also, what about his maternal fathers and paternal mothers?

A/N: ok so next chapter is going to be like extremely sexualish Draco and Ophelia have their first romantic encounter
Looks like the nunnery's not going to want her anymore.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]nightleo
2009-02-22 12:03 am UTC (link)
Maybe Snape had a drunken one night stand, then nine months later there's a baby on his doorstep with the a note saying "it's yours"?
Yeah.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]hellkat75
2009-02-19 12:49 am UTC (link)
Harry looked up from his Herb Homework and spotted Hermione’s skirt, up further than it should be. No panties were where they should have been. Harry, who had only dreamed of these moments from Wizard porn, was most interfered.

This link be broke....can haz bad fic now!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]elenorasweet
2009-02-19 01:18 am UTC (link)
It's a good thing he wasn't looking at regular ol' porn, or he'd have creamed himself right there and then.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]mylla
2009-02-19 12:51 am UTC (link)
A.N: hello im the author ^_^

I know it was the very first quote, but this seriously had me giggling for about five minutes. It's just the most useful A.N. EVER.


it's a bit ruanchy so don't read it unless you don't mind ruanchiness.

Hee. I love a bit of ruanch in my day.


he got his penis to activate

Do you think it's remote-controlled? Like, he's got a little control with a big red button and he yells "ACTIVATE PENIS!" when he needs it?

I hope so.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]nightleo
2009-02-22 12:05 am UTC (link)
One of my English teachers in High School had us understand how the Regents grades papers by showing us various essays that had been on turned on exams. One began with, "Hi. Welcome to my essay."
Needless to say, it didn't score very well.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]pouletinbondage
2009-02-19 01:03 am UTC (link)
as Harry began to make room for his Penis in her pussy.

"Jesus Christ, Hermione. I thought you'd taken this shit to Goodwill a month ago!" Harry exclaimed as he pulled out a broken clock, three old shoes and a velvet Elvis painting.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]tyaweasley
2009-02-19 02:07 am UTC (link)
HAHAHA win!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]amanuensis1, 2009-02-19 03:41 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]eskimosatan, 2009-02-19 03:05 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]arihx
2009-02-19 01:19 am UTC (link)
A.N: hello im the author ^_^
Hello! I'm your reader ¯\(°_o)/¯

Title Screen change ________And chapter end Parsons prov
Holy fucking Christ! A Bourne/HP crossover! Nooooooooooooooooooo! *falls to her knees*

Yes I know what wizards call non-magical parsons
Is this Nicky's evil doppelgänger?

harry got bored and leaned on one of the piles of boxes accidentally knocking over one ov the boxes harry looked at the stuff that had fallen out of the box, what had fallen out of the box was books
"BEWARE! I AM THE BOX GHOST!"

It was the most cloudiest and rainiest days in June that privet drive had ever seen,
It was cloudy and rainy beyond gramatical correctness!

Merlin’s saggy old left ball
Best. Swearing. Ever.

Dudley had smashed the pure white plate across Harry’s head, which had effectively embedded china shards into Harry’s skull,
Killing him and ending our suffering.

'oh sweet Mississippi’s pantaloons'
This fic is a glodmine.

A/N: ok so next chapter is going to be like extremely sexualish Draco and Ophelia have their first romantic encounter
My cat is called Ofelia, so this was really disturbing. o_o

«Uh, Hermione, Here is commeesssssss!" Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.
45. Law of Uninterruptible Metamorphosis: Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

«Harry! I’ Might have a baby! » She said, still breathing quite deep from her Orgasm. She had yet to get her breath back. Harry who was still inside here didn’t mind one bit as he gave an «uhhhhhhhyyyyeeaaaaa» to signal he had came.
Ejaculation and pregnancy don't work that way! D:

He picked up his bed, and pulled out a magic Vagina. It was a fake but felt real. All you did was stick your dick in it and ask it to suck, fuck, or be a asshole to fuck.
I guess that would be a practical device.

He soon didn’t care one bit and began to enter his organism at a surprising speed.
"We are about to reach Organism, please keep your hands inside the vehicle and wait for the signal before exiting."

“I hope my muse did not leave me,” they looked confused, “I write songs. Sarah and I are in a band.” Their mouths formed “O”s
then "A"s and finally adopted a curious "K" shape.


I didn't get a word of the Minerva fic. D:>


(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ardys_the_ghoul
2009-02-20 08:55 am UTC (link)
My cat is called Ofelia, so this was really disturbing. o_o

I once thought about (but mercifully didn't get around to) writing a fic where Draco had a sister named Ophelia--so that was the first thing I thought of.

Draco/Cat is worse though. I think.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]dansmonpantalon, 2009-02-21 11:27 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stickingplaster, 2009-02-26 03:11 am UTC (Expand)

[info]_plethora_
2009-02-19 01:32 am UTC (link)
Go go gadget penis!

Harry, who had only dreamed of these moments from Wizard porn, was most interfered.
I'm actually struggling to figure out what that was supposed to say...

“Fuck Harry!” Cursed Ginny, as she soon came closer to her inventible orgasm.
She's faking it!

"You are just like your father when he was your age. Brave, ambitious, and ready for a fight at any given moment."
Not Snape's most offensive taunt. "Oh no, my dad was ambitious?? What a MONSTER!"

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]nightleo
2009-02-22 12:09 am UTC (link)
By interfered the author means distracted, perhaps?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-02-19 02:35 am UTC (link)
Virgins shouldn't write porn. Especially not 12-year-old virgins.

Well, OK, they can write it. But NOT, I repeat NOT post it on the Net.

Yes I know what wizards call non-magical parsons
***Priests?

It was the most cloudiest and rainiest days in June that privet drive had ever seen,
***Number 6 was building a big boat and collecting pairs of animals.

it's a bit ruanchy so don't read it unless you don't mind ruanchiness.
***I don't know what "ruanchiness" is but I do know I mind it. A lot.

Harry looked up from his Herb Homework and spotted Hermione’s skirt, up further than it should be.
***Quite a feat. considering Hogwarts students wear robes.

she threw herself into his arms and sobbed on his robes.
***Someone has read the books!!11!!

“I hope my muse did not leave me,” they looked confused, “I write songs. Sarah and I are in a band.” Their mouths formed “O”s
***Not really. They were trying not to laugh.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-02-19 10:25 pm UTC (link)
Virgins shouldn't write porn. Especially not 12-year-old virgins.

Especially especially not 12-year-old virgins who learned about sex from reading badfic.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]ardys_the_ghoul, 2009-02-20 08:57 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]yakaji, 2009-03-01 11:22 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ravin_raven
2009-02-19 03:18 am UTC (link)
From surrey to get to cococapay hospital you need to take the off junction of palm Motorway which is next to the hospital,

Sounds like a racetrack from MarioKart.

It was the most cloudiest and rainiest days in June that privet drive had ever seen

Considering HP takes place in England in order to be the cloudiest and rainiest day, I'm gonna have to guess this takes place in a post-apocalyptic alternative universe where it is nuclear winter.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ija_ijewna
2009-02-27 02:31 pm UTC (link)
Considering HP takes place in England in order to be the cloudiest and rainiest day, I'm gonna have to guess this takes place in a post-apocalyptic alternative universe where it is nuclear winter.

I'd read it gladly.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

I did laugh with roar!
[info]plaid_slytherin
2009-02-19 03:19 am UTC (link)
“ Talking “
‘Thoughts ‘
“SHOUTING”


So pleased you cleared this up for us!

Paternal fathers name: Severus Tobias Snape.
Maternal mothers name: --Un known—


But who's his maternal father and his paternal mother?

Malfoy rubbed his thumbs over her nipple's and sucked them in between his teeth.

Draco is a Hoover!

“Fuck Harry!” Cursed Ginny, as she soon came closer to her inventible orgasm.

Is the inventible orgasm to go with the Magic Vagina?

We turned to see a grease ball with legs, which we have to call a professor.

I desperately wish I could find a picture of ball of grease to make a macro with.

(Reply to this)


[info]animeshen
2009-02-19 03:36 am UTC (link)
«Um Harry, can you demount me now? I’ve got to get back to my books» said Hermione

somehow I feel like if this were phrased differently, it's not entirely OOC XD "Are you done? Finally. Not get off, I have reading to do."

(Reply to this)


[info]amanuensis1
2009-02-19 03:39 am UTC (link)
TEARS. I'm telling you, TEARS.

(Reply to this)


[info]vvvexation
2009-02-19 09:16 am UTC (link)
No panties were where they should have been.

*sigh* That's badfic!Hermione for you. Curves in all the right places, panties in all the wrong ones.

the feeling of another organism had now become known to her after about four minutes of sex with the famed Harry potter, who was an organism the feeling of which she had previously not known.

a black, tight, sleeveless shirt that had the words Bad ass above a picture of a angle with black wings and fangs

Something perhaps a leetle...like zees?


badass angle



(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]brewingtrouble
2009-02-19 04:21 pm UTC (link)
ROFLMAO

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]pouletinbondage, 2009-02-20 12:29 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gumblina, 2009-02-20 05:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]soulstealer213, 2009-02-21 03:28 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ija_ijewna, 2009-02-27 02:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]karthzon, 2009-03-07 01:50 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]vvvexation, 2009-03-08 08:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]karthzon, 2009-03-08 10:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]vvvexation, 2009-03-09 12:40 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kaltes_lied, 2009-04-17 05:55 am UTC (Expand)

[info]servant_of_kaos
2009-02-19 11:41 am UTC (link)
“I want you to fuck my ass Harry; you’re the first man and the only man for me. I want it to be your cock that goes into both my holes.” Said Ginny.

Why can't all girls be like that?

"RAPE! RAPE!" she yelled.
He let go causing her to fly right towards the snitch and swallowing it.


Ahh, sweet justice.

(Reply to this)

The CFTEL does not approve
[info]eskimosatan
2009-02-19 03:20 pm UTC (link)
Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.

come - originate - commence - begin - activate

That is a bad author. If you can't use the Thesaurus responsible, you can't use it at all.


A/N: ok so next chapter is going to be like extremely sexualish Draco and Ophelia have their first romantic encounter

I would like to take a moment to applaud this author's choice of words, because given what little I've read so far, I'm sure I won't be calling the next chapter actually sexual.



"Draco you are one of my favorite students but you have sunk down to one of my most hated due to that fact that you like Miss Potter."
Draco scoffed, "Oh, please, you got that from Scrubs."
"I what?"
"Scrubs, that American television show. Potter watches it all the time and the mentor is always calling the main character by various female names."
"Are you insinuating that I watch muggle programming?"
"If the ballet slipper fits. Sir."
He pulled out a knife.


As the figure stepped in to the hall and began to make her way up to the head table gasps and murmurs began to be heard. The gasps were for one reason, and the talking was all along the same lines, ".... She's beautiful...." “.... Gorgeous..." ".... Never seen anything that compares, well maybe a vela, but nothing else..."

"Or Billie Piper, she's hot."
"What about Kylie Minogue?"
"She's like 40."
"She's still hot, though."
"Fair enough. Oh, and Keira Knightley!"
"She's flat."
"Yeah, but more than handful's a waste anyway."
"I forgot, you're dating my sister. How about Aaliyah Haughton?"
"Her, too and Jessica Alba."
"Good call. Anyone else you can think of?"
"Anne Hathaway's dynamite and Katherine Heigl."
"Oh, and Ashley Jensen. What were we talking about again?"


“You're in love. That is the only thing I can tell you about them.” with that she walked off. ‘Love!?!? Me in love! She has lost her mind, just like her hoodie says.’

She's not the only one.


You would think that being the daughter to the Boy Who Lived was all fun and games wouldn't you?

Are you telling me being the daughter of someone who was abused and neglected as a child, hunted by a mass-murdering megalomaniac who, according to your summary, is still alive, nearly killed on a yearly basis by same megalomaniac's devout followers, and hounded by the media day and night without a moment's privacy isn't balloons and kittens?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: The CFTEL does not approve
[info]vvvexation
2009-02-20 09:45 am UTC (link)
Nope, it's just kittens. That mean old mass-murdering megalomaniac popped all the balloons.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

Re: The CFTEL does not approve - [info]the9thdoctor, 2009-02-21 10:47 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: The CFTEL does not approve - [info]vvvexation, 2009-02-22 02:58 am UTC (Expand)

[info]sajina
2009-02-19 03:36 pm UTC (link)
«Uh, Hermione, Here is commeesssssss!" Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.
OMG, I want an icon, Activated Penis is activated! XD

For the rest, I have no words. It was just one of the funniest sex scene I've ever come across.

(Reply to this)


[info]linda_lupos
2009-02-19 03:55 pm UTC (link)
Please tell me I wasn't the only one who thought the 'Minerva' fic referred to McGonagall at first. O_o Damn Sues with the same name as canon characters!

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]rizny
2009-02-19 06:28 pm UTC (link)
You're not the only one. I was really confused there for a few minutes.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]kalalanekent, 2009-02-19 07:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rizny, 2009-02-19 07:25 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kalalanekent, 2009-02-19 07:27 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rizny, 2009-02-20 03:01 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]spoofmaster, 2009-02-19 09:06 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]arihx, 2009-02-20 01:48 am UTC (Expand)

[info]brewingtrouble
2009-02-19 04:32 pm UTC (link)
Harry had Broken Through her Hymen whom no one expected.
The Boy Who Lived breaks through the Hymen Whom No One Expected?? It kind of works... I guess....

He soon didn’t care one bit and began to enter his organism at a surprising speed.
lolwut

He grabbed Minerva by the arm, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder
... whereupon she went sailing over a cliff.

She was one of the most loved and hated students in Hogwarts. She excelled in pretty much everything.
I believe I have identified this one as a Characterosis mary-sue-us.

Harry nearly fell backwards at Bree’s choice of words. They cut through him like a stake cuts a vampire.
Similes. You fail at them.

Edited at 2009-02-19 04:32 pm UTC

(Reply to this)


[info]gumblina
2009-02-19 10:10 pm UTC (link)
I am actually CRYING with laughter XD

I found this comm today and I have wasted many, many hours reading the old posts. It is possibly the funniest thing on the internet :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]cheryl_bites
2009-02-20 05:07 pm UTC (link)
*Embraces you* Welcome, sister! (Or brother.) And can I just say that this is the best method ever of wasting hours.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]gumblina, 2009-02-20 05:27 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]pica_scribit
2009-02-19 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Malfoy rubbed his thumbs over her nipple's and sucked them in between his teeth.

Thumbsucking is so...HOT!

as he got his penis to activate.

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I always suspected those things had an "on" switch! This whole scene is both hilarious and disturbing. I wonder how many "authors" out there learned everything they know about sex from reading fanfic?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-02-20 03:20 am UTC (link)
I always suspected those things had an "on" switch
***No, those things *are* "on"-switches.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]mayaxpapaya, 2009-02-20 03:28 am UTC (Expand)

[info]reipan
2009-02-20 05:53 am UTC (link)
While she was blacked out Harry and Draco (can you believe it Harry and Draco teaming up together?) teamed up to fight against Serveus
WAY TO SPOIL ME FOR YOUR OWN FIC, AUTHOR.

her lovely red hair was enough to be boner inducing

Which puts you at, what, fourteen?

«AAAAauhhoooooooooyyeeaa Harry!"
«Uh, Hermione, Here is commeesssssss!" Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.


...

Malfoy rubbed his thumbs over her nipple's and sucked them in between his teeth.

You know, sometimes I wonder what these people are actually going to be like in bed, when they eventually get around to it. I'm picturing an encounter involving quite a lot of confusion and many pained yells of "No - that's not - God, what - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]mayaxpapaya
2009-02-20 07:23 am UTC (link)
It's like when I worked in a haunted house, and I was the little girl being terrorized by Santa, and some twelve-year-old walked through and said, quite loudly, "OMG, are they having sex?!" And all I could think is, "Boy, are YOU going to be confused some day."

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]reipan, 2009-02-20 08:03 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mayaxpapaya, 2009-02-20 02:27 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ardys_the_ghoul, 2009-02-20 09:06 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ardys_the_ghoul
2009-02-20 09:19 am UTC (link)
(A.n just so you all know I have NO clue what a real adoption paper looks like)

We can tell.

Paternal fathers name: Severus Tobias Snape.
Maternal mothers name: --Un known—


It's time for a trip to the Redundancy Department of Redundancy--although apparently the apostrophes got lost along the way.

Malfoy rubbed his thumbs over her nipple's and sucked them in between his teeth.

My ex did this to me once, and let me tell you, it hurt.

«Uh, Hermione, Here is commeesssssss!" Harry Told Hermione as he got his penis to activate.

HERE'S JOHNNY!!! ("Activate"? Seriously? Does he have to wind it up with a key first, like those cymbal-playing monkey things?)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]elethian
2009-02-23 08:49 pm UTC (link)
("Activate"? Seriously? Does he have to wind it up with a key first, like those cymbal-playing monkey things?)

"Coin Operated Boy"?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]elethian
2009-02-23 08:48 pm UTC (link)
From surrey to get to cococapay hospital you need to take the off junction of palm
Motorway which is next to the hospital


This is Surrey, Florida, I suppose?

No panties were where they should have been.

Instead, they were all over the floor. Honestly, if Harry'd told her once, he'd told her a thousand times...

Harry had Broken Through her Hymen whom no one expected.

Yeah, there's no way he could have found out about that ahead of time. In fact, no one had even heard of it until this fic.

He began to engage in rugler stroking

This sounds like something that should involve rugby players.

Her breath was shorting now

They should have put in a grounded outlet.

the feeling of another organism had now become known to her

Yeah: Harry.

she soon came closer to her inventible orgasm

(Patent pending.)

Harry stood up. "PROFESSOR SNAPE YOU HAVE GONE FAR ENOUGH!" He shouted.

Yeah, sure, now he calls him "Professor"!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]the9thdoctor
2009-02-23 10:32 pm UTC (link)
He began to engage in rugler stroking

This sounds like something that should involve rugby players.


Dude. I spent three years at Uni. It IS something that involves Rugby players. You just don't wanna know HOW...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ija_ijewna
2009-02-27 02:56 pm UTC (link)
Yes I know what wizards call non-magical parsons
Alan Parsons Project anyone?

“Oh Ginny, oh Ginny, how are you so tight?!
I'm stuck here imprisoned, all day and all night.
Mind you, it's delightful; no reason to fight.
But Ginny, oh Ginny, how are you so tight?

Hey nonny nonny...

Oh Harry, oh Harry, how are you so dim?
That's not my organism you're stuck promptly in!
That's Inventible Orgasm, our George's last whim.
Oh Harry, oh Harry, how are you so dim?!

Hey nonny, nonny...

Cursed Ginny, as she soon came closer to her inventible orgasm.
Courtesy of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, the prototypes of the Inventible Orgasms (tm) were first tested by the closest family.

We turned to see a grease ball with legs, which we have to call a professor.
Please, icon this!

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]elethian
2009-02-27 06:12 pm UTC (link)
I'm stuck here imprisoned, all day and all night.
Mind you, it's delightful; no reason to fight.
But Ginny, oh Ginny, how are you so tight?


THis song is WIN.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-02-28 02:16 pm UTC (Expand)

(84 comments) - (Post a new comment)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…