The Babbling Chronicles ([info]babb_chronicles) wrote,
@ 2009-03-08 02:48:00
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Current mood: like a raunchy old woman
Current music:the soundtrack of "All My Wizards"

Part CCXXIX - a sing of life
This batch is dedicated to the awesome [info]pica_scribit who recced every single fic featured below.


(link)
(from the author`s notes)
Enjoy! I thank you for the ones that tell me of miss spelling. I spell it right when I put it on the computer. But when I send it to fan fiction. It leaves out some words. Please say it in a nice way.
*
Oh My Goodness. Hermione said inside her head.
*
"Now class seat down." Said Professor Mcgonagall
Everyone went silent.
"Every two years we gather three schools and have a very important event. The event is called the Yull Ball. The Yull Ball is a dance. You all need to go and you all will learn to dance. Now get a partner and they do not have to go with you to the dance . You may pick your own."
Harry didn't want to pick anyone, he wanted to go with Hermione.
But will she say yes.
Harry got up to Hermione and asked....
"Will you dance with me?"
"Okay."
They danced.

*
It was the most beautiful necklace she ever saw. It was shaped like a heart and was a beauitful color. Purple.
"Oh...Harry."
Hermione jumped up and hugged him. Harry lowered her done and said....
"Your welcome....this is to show the love that we have."
*
"Where am I?Who am I?" Hermione said.
Hermione went to sleep that night. Voldemort was talking to one of his Death Eaters.
"What are you going to do with her?" The Death Eater asked.
"Well, we don't need her any more. Potter doesn't care for her and she has lost her memory."
"You want us to just let her go."
"Yes."
Hermione wakes up and remembers herself and everything. One of the Death Eater comes in. They grab her and let her go out somewhere in London. She starts running as fast as she can.
Voldemort grabs one of his Death Eaters.
"She has her memory back."
*
Hermione could make her voice sound like a police woman. She got on to the railing and went down to help the boy. She was use to geeks or hobos getting beat up. But this boy looked like he was lost for days. And was trying to get some where.
**
(link)
You looked up and spotted (first) platinum blonde hair. Making your way down to icy, blue eyes and coming to rest on a face with fine features.
*
"The host family were the Malfoys. The father is a Death Eater and they housed that party to find someone that could become the next princess. Meaning that whoever it was would take over for Voldemort if he was too weak to act."
*
Pansy had picked up the water pitcher on the table next to her and poured it on you.
Still crackling with laughter, you tried to talk, but failed miserably.
"You-laugh-dog!-laugh-eyes-funniest shit-laugh-in the world!"
*
OH! You had forgotten about that. So, you decided to change into a plaid skirt and white button up shirt, kind of like schoolgirl outfit. Before you could do anything else, Christina grabbed your hand and fled out of the dorm room.
My hair! UGH! I'm gunna get her back for this!
**
(link)
Veela are extremely beautiful human looking creatures. They have power over fire, and at 16 they sprout their wings. When emotional their eyes turn different colors. Red- mad, blue- sad, black- lonely, silver- closed off, and so on and so forth. Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.
*
Flexing a little I felt new muscles move and I looked back. Two silver and green wings were stretching out carefully and I smiled. They were perfect. I closed my eyes again as if on instinct as a flash of a black haired boy crossed my vision, two large emerald eyes danced back at me with happiness.
*
Watching the exist closely I waited until they came back with a tired beaten looking Pot- Harry.
*
Opening it Draco flipped threw looking for the right outfit. Finally Draco found it. A silver velvet Renaissance tunic with white sleeves with green and black trim to the front, a black velvet cape with a silver chain connecting it in the front, white vinyl boots, black stretch pants, and a black velvet hat with a silver feather. Also a silver mask with gold and silver swirls painting simple but beautiful patterns over the front and a black tear mark in the right eye corner, along with a green gem on the forehead of the mask and one green, one black, and one silver feather off the side.
**
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Authors note.
Normally the people of Avalon speak gealic. But because Gealic is a very difficult language to write en read I let the people of Avalon speak English or else no one would be able to read it.
*
“This year we will have a very special quest. A teacher from a mystical island, she has come from far away to teach as in the wonderful history of magic. Please welcome, Miss Maira Macha from the island of Avalon!” Dumbledore says.
When Maira Macha comes on the platform where Dumbledore is standing the whole great hall falls in silence. They have never seen such a beautiful woman in their whole lives. Especially the boys can take their eyes of her.
*
“Draco, what has happened? Why is Miss Macha leaning on your shoulder?” Professor Snape asks.
“She has fallen down the stairs!” Draco says.
“Draco, don’t you say that you have dropt her! Our honoured quest!” Profesor Snape cries.
“No, Sir she slipped! But still I am ashamed! Deeply ashamed! A Malfoy who let a lady fall is really a scandal! I Fear that my ancestors are turning around in their graves and that they already lay six feet deeper1 I can hear them!” Draco cries.
*
“The stone represents the earth, the burning candle the fire, the crystal the water and the incense the air. Together they form the four elements. We will need them during this ritual.” Maira Macha explains.
“Alright, let us start! I am longing for my salvation! “ Draco Malffoy says.
*
When they are finished with their spell Maira Macha stings herself in her finger with the knife. She spread the blood across Draco’s forehead.
But Draco does it in the wrong way! Instead of just stinging in his finger he cuts his whole left hand. He screams out in pain! But still he spreads the blood across Maira Macha’s forehead. But he has offered too much blood! Than a wave of pain hits is body! It’s just like he is hit by lightning. And than Draco does something very unusual! He telepathically calls Severus Snape for aid! He doesn’t know that since than a telepathic connection will be formed, a connection between their souls. A connection that will change their lives forever!
*
The three of them walk into Draco direction.
They are shocked by the pool of blood where the person lays in. Especially Ron is frightened.
“Must you look at all that blood? It looks likes murder! Maybe this person is murdered!” Ron cries.
“It’s indeed possible Ron, but I want to see who it is. I am curious about the person’s identity.” Hermoine says while she carefully turns the person on his back.
*
He carries Draco’s unconsciousness form in his arms down the many stairs that lead to hiss office.
Harry, Ron and Hermoine look at him in amazement.
“Well, professor I never knew that you were you strong!” Ron says in surprise.
Professor Snape looks at him with a mysterious smile on his lips.
“I am full of surprises, Mister Weasly! “ Professor Snape answers.
*
"You have saved me haven’t you?" Draco asks.
The three of them nod.
" I am very grateful to you, but I fear that it was in vain. I am lost. And if I have to die than I want to die with a clear conscience. Harry, Ron, Hermoine I have to confess something to you. I have always been a mean spoiled brat. I have always treated you very badly. I have always bullied you and I have even enjoyed it.
But now I see I was wrong. Harry can praise himself with friends like you! And I have to confess I always wanted to be a part of you. But I feared that my father wouldn’t ever accept it because you aren’t purebloods. I wish I hadn’t listened to him. But know it´s to late. I will never have the change to become a friend of you because I wouldn´t be there anymore. But I want to ask you something. Would you please if you are able to do it, forgive me for everything I have done! I know that I am not worthy but please let me die in peace!" Draco says with tears in his eyes.
Harry and his friends and professor Snape start to cry by these words.
"Draco Malfoy, of course we can forgive you for everything. But please don’t give in to it. There must be a way to save you! I can’t believe that everything is lost!" Hermoine cries.
Harry and Ron are speechless while the are filled with grief.. The only thing they can do is not..
" It’s too late Miss Granger! It’s too late!" Draco Malfoy cries.
*
“Good night children I hope you will have sweat dreams” Dumbledore says while he waves them goodbye.
*
Right on that moment Snape enters his office. He is deeply shocked when he sees that Draco is gone. He starts to scream in despair.
*
“Poor Draco. He have must been in terrible pain! I hoped that I had reacted faster on his cry for help! Maybe he wouldn’t be harmed like that!” Severus cries.
“Yes maybe but we aren’t sure about it, aren’t we? And besides it’s not your fault! You have done what ever you could do to save him!” Dumbledore replies.
“Yes I know but still it’s terrible that he had to suffer like this! Anyway that souls bound you are talking about what does that mean? Does it mean that I have direct contact with the boy’s soul?” Snape asks.
“That’s exactly what it means. A connection has been formed between your souls. You are no able to reach each other. Even if the meeting is not physically or if there is a long distance between you two. You can see it as a new way of communication.
*
“Have you ever had a souls bound with someone?”Snape asks.
“No,but a friend of mine had. But never forget it is not the same thing as leglimency or oclumency. It’s much more difficult and direct. And never forget that Draco Malfoy has given you a very
special gift!” Dumbledore replies.
“I know he has given me free entrance into his very soul! I have deep respect for that.” Snape replies.
*
Draco is amazed by her appearance. She reminds him a little of his aunt Bellatrrix but than more beautiful.
*
When Snape doesn’t react Draco starts to search for a sing of life from the professor.
He is shocked when he finds out that the professor isn’t breathing! To his shock he discovers that the professor has no pulse!
Draco is really desperate. But he stays calm he knows what he has to do. He starts to give to professor first aid. He first starts to reanimate the professor many times.
He gives him chest compressions and he starts to breathe life back into Snape. He is relieved when they professor starts to breathe all by him self. Draco carefully laid him in a stabile position on his side.
*
“You are a real gentlemen Draco. Alright I accept. You can take me to diagonally. “ Maira answers
**
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I was astounded, I had only found out that I was witch 3 weeks ago and that I was supposed to be the one of the highest regarded of the age, along with a boy called Harry Potter. My mother had said he sent an evil wizard who named himself Lord Voldemort away and survived a killing curse that no one ever had survived before at the age of 1, making him a household name. I just hoped he wasn’t a spoiled brat because my mother had confided in me that we were chosen to preserve the balance of Light and Dark when we grew older ( no pressure, right?), so I hoped we could get along.
My mother heard this prophecy just before I was born so she decided to name me Luminiscentine which means “Goddess of Light” in Latin and give me the middle name of Aya which in Cherokee translated into “me”.
*
I had long since pulled out my I Pod and we each had an earbud in our ears and delightedly listening to the American music that I had so long cherished, seeing that I aspired to be a singer up until the Hogwarts letter. It had been playing songs so long that it was almost to the end of the 700 songs I had on there and Hermione seemed to enjoy the American beats of the array of song genres I possessed. I had earlier thought Hermione to do the dances of “Walk it out”, “Crank Dat Souja Boy”, and “Baby Got Back” like a true “gangsta”.
*
I took a mental note to try to wear fishnets with the uniform skirt that’s style intrigued me and I hitched up the skirt to make it realistic wear of a pre-teen and add cushion to my newly pierced belly button. I refused to wear the Cross-Trainers that strangled my feet and sported my beloved loose and laid back Etnies with outrageously colored laces of blue, pink, and purple jammed through the holes. I then pulled up the stockings to my knees(loving the look of that as well) and tied my tie loosely and left the last two and first two buttons of the silky shirt undone. My shirt, of course, wasn’t tucked in because it left me with the feeling of a raunchy old woman and pulled on the billowy robe putting my new maple wood wand of 13 inches with dragon heart string and a unicorn hair infused together(Mr. Olivander beamed when he told me it was the rarest wand in existence and he expected a lot of its counterpart) in my deep left hand pocket
*
My eyebrows shot up and my mom snickered because she new the code of color in my hair and she new purple meant attraction, blue meant utterly creeped out or overly calm depending on color and pink/red meant embarrassment.
*
I suddenly noticed that Harry looked extremely cute in his uniform and I blushed, knowing that he probably thought the same of me considering Ron wouldn’t take his eyes of my chest( okay I know they were abnormally large for an eleven year old and I wore a size B bra and a size 8 jeans so I was probably delectable to the male race but that’s just being perverted!).
*
I repeatedly fake sneezed until he asked me if I was okay and I retorted cleverly, “No Harry Potter I’m allergic to your bullshit!” Ron sucked in a breath through his teeth and made a face, “Ouch that had to hurt.” Hermione laughed nervously as she realized I was being eye raped by two boys and she was being ignored. Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor. “Ron, go buy a dildo for that mangina of yours and go fuck yourself!” I smirked, “Or do you already have one?” Ron’s eyes widened at this remark and I continued the onslaught, “I’m not so dainty now, huh? I bet that’s the first and last time you will ever hear question of your genitalia and realization pf your girlish charm in one sentence. So dude stop looking at my chest until you fully mature and understand my joke.” With that I wrapped my robes around me to conceal the fact that I had breasts and started swearing. When I was done muttering every swear in the book I ended my sermon with “Bob Saget” and pulled out my I Pod Hermione was snickering immaturely at my uses of words and Ron and Harry stared at me, perplexed (or even intrigued).
*
I pushed her into the adjoining bathroom and immediately started straightening her hair with my muggle hair flat iron(I rigged it to be fueled by magic as there obviously aren’t any plugs anywhere in a stone castle) and adding anti frizz and volumizing serums(I love my hair so I buy every product I see in the salon).
I pulled out my eyebrow waxing kit and heated the wax using a fire spell. Making sure there would be no pained screaming in the castle at(I checked the clock)6:45am(WOW! I was making good time!), I numbed Hermione’s eyebrows with a spell I found in a book I bought in Flourish and Blott’s called The Magic Behind Beauty. I then ripped the hell out of her eyebrows and hit her with another spell that I learned in the book to reduce redness.
Her skin was flawless so I figured all she needed was some black eyeliner, a mocha eye shadow, and a sparkly but sheer lip gloss(shinny will hopefully attract Ron’s attention to the lips!).
*
My four best friends from the U.S., Professor Dumbledore and my mom came into view. WAIT! My four best friends? I blinked and they were still there. There they stood, Steven Macabee, Jamie Basque, Sherrie Myers, and Dallas Stallone(A/N: Yes I gave you guys some weird names, but they fit your personalities… somewhat, so deal with it!).
**
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At the age of eleven, I was told by some witch called Clarissa that, well, I was a witch. Not a cow, bitch, kinda witch... a magical kinda witch. So, I went to some magic school for the 'extra special' witches of our generation. Turns out I was far too boring for them. They only wanted me because of my scar. I mean, whats the biggie? Okay, so it is a biggie. Truth is, I am supposed to have survived an attack by Voldemort. Yes, I know I said the name! I DON'T CARE! And, as you probably know, no-one survives an attack from ol' Voldy. No one. But then they find out its just some scar that just burns for no reason... so they transfer me to Merlin's Magicians. So, there they tell me that I have a connection with Mouldy Voldy and they dont know how it happened. So, okay. I do some research. Myth says that before Voldy attacked 'The Boy Who Lived' he tried to attack my family... did some killing curse which did a backfire (HA! LORD Voldemort? Not likely) and I survived with a scar that just happens to have a burny connection thing with this lord person. So, figures.
At the age of fifteen, they chucked me out. Serves them right. No one gives Moi a detention. I somehow got recommended to this guy called Dumbledore, who said "Come to Hogwarts." (What a name.) Yeah, turns out he has fought Voldy, and he, Lord I'm so evil, is now scared of Dumbledore. (Seriously, he's just some old guy with a beard. What's to be scared of?) Anyhoo, I guessed that this is why he wanted me.
So, here I am, standing in his office. Woop woop!
*
"This is Harry Potter. How can you not know him?" Lizzie looked at her, still confused.
"Uh, cant say I recognise the name. But nice to meet ya and all tha'. " How refreshing. Someone who dosent know me.
*
I get to be head girl.
I know right. WHAT?!
Well basically, at Hogwarts, They have four heads of school. Hermione, Draco Malfoy (FIT - However, Slytherin. Hmph.), Harry (Double EEK!), and Moi.
Weird if you ask me. But apparently, it is important. So.
I'm in mine and Mionie's dorm right now. Its soo nice. Not even kidding.
The walls are white and red, and the accesories are white and black. Two double beds... the rooms' 'bout half the size of the Great Hall... and thats BIG.
For me,anyway.
*
A really, I mean, really manky hat appeared in his hands. Ew. I was NOT having THAT on my head.
*
"Not Slytherin 'ey! " Hey, a talking hat. Who'd'a'thought? " You could be great you know..."
I didn't concerntrate on the hat. (It spoke for Goodness sake!) I just kept thinking "Not Slytherin, Not Slytherin, NOT SLYTHERIN." I changed tactics. " Are you listening to my thoughts hat? 'Cos if you put me in Slytherin I will PERSONALLY rip you to shreds... manually, and very, very slowly..."
*
"Gryffindor!"
Applause came from all over, deafning me. Yes. Deafaning.
I smiled. "Glad to see you came around to my way of thinking" I thought to the hat. "And... If we ever meet again... Just remember. Rip. You. To. Shreds. MANUALLY."
Boy was I evil.
I frisbeed the hat across the room - you should have seen its face - Priceless.
*
Then Harry (sigh) came up behind me, his breath tickling my neck. "Congratulations Lizzie. I knew it." He whispered.
That boy is so... Nygh!!!
*
You know you get the films, or books, and the guy looks at the girl, and she wants to know what he's thinking?~
It's sorta like that. The difference being I'm not in love with Hazzer, (Oh, I know! But it's just such an ace name... right?) and he dosen't stare me in the eyes in admiration. Most of the time he glares at me because I'm 'reading' his mind. Giggle.



(75 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-03-08 03:48 am UTC (link)
I thank you for the ones that tell me of miss spelling.
***Who is she? A relative of Miss Manners?

"Now class seat down." Said Professor Mcgonagall
Everyone went silent.
***Why were she adressing the whole class? It is only the boys who leave the seat up, after all

Harry got up to Hermione and asked....
"Will you dance with me?"
***And the Award For Most OOC Harry goes to...

"Where am I?Who am I?" Hermione said.
***"And what did those dratted Weasley twins put in the punch bowl at yesterday's party?"

Christina grabbed your hand and fled out of the dorm room.
My hair! UGH! I'm gunna get her back for this!
***Hair? Wasn't it your Hand of Glory she took?

Veela are extremely beautiful human looking creatures. They have power over fire, and at 16 they sprout their wings. When emotional their eyes turn different colors. Red- mad, blue- sad, black- lonely, silver- closed off, and so on and so forth. Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.
***Well, the first sentence is correct. It's always something.




(Reply to this)


[info]shanrina
2009-03-08 04:02 am UTC (link)
A really, I mean, really manky hat appeared in his hands. Ew. I was NOT having THAT on my head.

Professor McGonagall glared at the Sue. "Just put it on. We renew the Anti-Lice charms before every Sorting."

(Reply to this)


[info]hjsnapepm
2009-03-08 04:06 am UTC (link)
Veela are extremely beautiful human looking creatures. They have power over fire, and at 16 they sprout their wings. When emotional their eyes turn different colors. Red- mad, blue- sad, black- lonely, silver- closed off, and so on and so forth. Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.

Wait... what?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]cheryl_bites
2009-03-08 04:37 am UTC (link)
The only explanation is that their partners aren't Veela, although it amuses me greatly to picture a male-male pair of Sue!Veela trying to thrash out which of them was "dominant". XD

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]hjsnapepm, 2009-03-08 04:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]spoofmaster, 2009-03-08 11:07 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]r05km, 2009-03-08 01:16 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-03-08 10:17 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]r05km, 2009-03-08 11:00 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]cheryl_bites
2009-03-08 04:10 am UTC (link)
I thank you for the ones that tell me of miss spelling.

Who, Tori?

Harry didn't want to pick anyone, he wanted to go with Hermione.
But will she say yes.
Harry got up to Hermione and asked....
"Will you dance with me?"
"Okay."
They danced.


Well, that was quick! But considering how long the prelude-to-the-ball dragged on in the books, I rather wish JKR had written it like this...

It was the most beautiful necklace she ever saw. It was shaped like a heart and was a beauitful color. Purple.

Hermione has been an outstanding soldier in the Vietnam War.

You looked up and spotted (first) platinum blonde hair. Making your way down to icy, blue eyes and coming to rest on a face with fine features.

Draco Malfoy, VS. 50ft. A good climb, but exposed; beware of sharp angles. Pitch 1. Beginning from the chimney (straightforward, mostly good sound rock but beware of loose platinum blonde hair), make your way down to the Blue Eyes (splashed by small waterfall, ice in winter) where you will come to rest just below Pitch 2, the Fine Features Face.

and they housed that party to find someone that could become the next princess. Meaning that whoever it was would take over for Voldemort if he was too weak to act."

^_^ Dark Lords get erectile dysfunction?? He won't appreciate the whole world knowing. Crucio for Lucius!

Still crackling with laughter, you tried to talk, but failed miserably.
"You-laugh-dog!-laugh-eyes-funniest shit-laugh-in the world!"


Self-awareness is so rare in badfic! <3

I waited until they came back with a tired beaten looking Pot- Harry.

"DAMMIT, DUMBLEDORE, THAT TEA IS JUST NOT DRINKABLE!" Harry shouted. (Or should that be spouted?)

Veela are extremely beautiful human looking creatures... at 16 they sprout their wings. When emotional their eyes turn different colors.

So... they don't look anything like humans.

Draco flipped threw looking for the right outfit. Finally Draco found it. A silver velvet Renaissance tunic with white sleeves with green and black trim to the front, a black velvet cape with a silver chain connecting it in the front, white vinyl boots, black stretch pants, and a black velvet hat with a silver feather. Also a silver mask with gold and silver swirls painting simple but beautiful patterns over the front and a black tear mark in the right eye corner, along with a green gem on the forehead of the mask and one green, one black, and one silver feather off the side.

*Dies a horrible death and cannot be resuscitated* This sums up the worst bits of every bad H/D ever written. I think my eyes fell out just from picturing that mess.

But because Gealic is a very difficult language to write en read

Hmm... Gaelic or garlic? (Mmmm, garlic.)

Miss Macha

At last, some proper tea for teapot!Harry!

We've had that fic before - I remember Draco telepathically calling Snape for aid. XD It's still hilariously bizarre, though.

“Must you look at all that blood? It looks likes murder! Maybe this person is murdered!” Ron cries.
“It’s indeed possible Ron, but I want to see who it is. I am curious about the person’s identity.” Hermoine says while she carefully turns the person on his back.


This is so very IC...

“Good night children I hope you will have sweat dreams” Dumbledore says while he waves them goodbye.

¦) I bet he does, the horny old bugger.

he knows what he has to do. He starts to give to professor first aid. He first starts to reanimate the professor many times.

XD!!! I'm picturing a row of little Snape!zombies...

“You are a real gentlemen Draco. Alright I accept. You can take me to diagonally. “ Maira answers

After much fumbling and many attempts to locate her vagina, Maira decided Draco would be better off with the missionary position.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-03-08 04:18 am UTC (link)
Veela are extremely beautiful human looking creatures... at 16 they sprout their wings. When emotional their eyes turn different colors.

So... they don't look anything like humans.

***That's correct. They look like Sues.

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(no subject) - [info]mayaxpapaya, 2009-03-08 08:23 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]manicr, 2009-03-08 11:58 am UTC (Expand)

[info]r05km
2009-03-08 01:18 pm UTC (link)
At last, some proper tea for teapot!Harry!

Really? It's not a miss match? (BA-DUM CHICH!)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]vvvexation, 2009-03-09 04:19 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-03-09 04:38 am UTC (Expand)
After a Short Break
[info]eir_de_scania
2009-03-08 04:16 am UTC (link)
But because Gealic is a very difficult language to write en read I let the people of Avalon speak English or else no one would be able to read it.
***Gaelic, on the other hand, isn't difficult to write and read - speaking and undertanding it, on the other hand, can be trickier.

I Fear that my ancestors are turning around in their graves and that they already lay six feet deeper1 I can hear them!” Draco cries.
***"How Malfoy lost twenty house points for his terrible over-acting"

I took a mental note to try to wear fishnets with the uniform skirt
***Exept the uniform is a robe. A floor-length black robe. Oh, and the school is an old stone castle. A big cold draughty stone castle...

(Reply to this)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-03-08 04:19 am UTC (link)
I think I feel a SQUEE coming on! I've *really* been needing a babbfix. Glad I could help!

It was the most beautiful necklace she ever saw. It was shaped like a heart and was a beauitful color. Purple.
"Oh...Harry."
Hermione jumped up and hugged him. Harry lowered her done and said....
"Your welcome....this is to show the love that we have."


And here was me thinking the Purple Heart represented bravery or something.

"What are you going to do with her?" The Death Eater asked.
"Well, we don't need her any more. Potter doesn't care for her and she has lost her memory."
"You want us to just let her go."
"Yes."
Hermione wakes up and remembers herself and everything. One of the Death Eater comes in. They grab her and let her go out somewhere in London. She starts running as fast as she can.
Voldemort grabs one of his Death Eaters.
"She has her memory back."


"Guess we should have just Avada Kedavra'd her when we had the chance, huh Boss?"

Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.

You know, I've seen this sort of thing in dozens of fics, and I still don't get it.

But because Gealic is a very difficult language to write en read I let the people of Avalon speak English or else no one would be able to read it.

I've got news for you, Sweetie; your English isn't so hot either. But at least you can spell "English".

I Fear that my ancestors are turning around in their graves and that they already lay six feet deeper1

*Imagines whirling corpses, drilling deep into the earth*

“Must you look at all that blood? It looks likes murder! Maybe this person is murdered!” Ron cries.
“It’s indeed possible Ron, but I want to see who it is. I am curious about the person’s identity.” Hermoine says while she carefully turns the person on his back.


Yeah, I often feel casual curiosity at the scene of a possible murder. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Check and see if the person is alive and needs help or something?

A connection has been formed between your souls. You are no able to reach each other. Even if the meeting is not physically or if there is a long distance between you two. You can see it as a new way of communication.

Can we go back to the old way of communication? Because this way is making my head hurt.

My mother heard this prophecy just before I was born so she decided to name me Luminiscentine which means “Goddess of Light” in Latin and give me the middle name of Aya which in Cherokee translated into “me”.

Someday I want to meet a Mary Sue without a completely ridiculous name. Although when I was a (very little) kid, I wanted my name to be Alexandria Flutterby or something like that.

Edited at 2009-03-08 05:00 am UTC

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-03-08 05:31 am UTC (link)
I Fear that my ancestors are turning around in their graves and that they already lay six feet deeper1

*Imagines whirling corpses, drilling deep into the earth*

***I did put down my coffee mug before reading this. It was a very good thing I did.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]mayaxpapaya, 2009-03-08 08:30 am UTC (Expand)

[info]cheryl_bites
2009-03-08 04:34 am UTC (link)
My mother had said he sent an evil wizard who named himself Lord Voldemort away and survived a killing curse that no one ever had survived before at the age of 1, making him a household name.

WORST. SENTENCE STRUCTURE. EVER.

and give me the middle name of Aya which in Cherokee translated into “me”.

WORST. MIDDLE NAME. EVER!!! D'you remember at Baby's Named A Bad, Bad Thing when the Oglala guy pops up and tells them if they're going to give their children totally random First Nations names they should go with Mucus, Ugly and Stink? I think we've just found an even more stupid word that white people can name their crotchlings.

I took a mental note to try to wear fishnets with the uniform skirt that’s style intrigued me and I hitched up the skirt to make it realistic wear of a pre-teen and add cushion to my newly pierced belly button.... [blah blah blah]

(a) I have no idea what half of this means, and (b) the bits I CAN decipher are distinctly unnerving. She's an eleven-year-old who wants to wear fishnets and feel like a "raunchy old woman"?? Wtf? WTF, I SAY?

(Mr. Olivander beamed when he told me it was the rarest wand in existence and he expected a lot of its counterpart)

XD He expects a lot of its counterpart. He doesn't expect much of the one that actually belongs to the Sue.

considering Ron wouldn’t take his eyes of my chest( okay I know they were abnormally large for an eleven year old and I wore a size B bra

*Perplexed* That's not "abnormally large". I was at least a B when I was 11... didn't have any lads staring at my chest, either.

(I rigged it to be fueled by magic as there obviously aren’t any plugs anywhere in a stone castle)

Er... quite a lot of stone castles nowadays have lekky, y'know. (Though, actually, that's one of the few things so far that would be in character for an American 11-year-old, so I suppose it's actually a GOOD thing...)

I then ripped the hell out of her eyebrows and hit her with another spell that I learned in the book to reduce redness.
Her skin was flawless so I figured all she needed was some black eyeliner, a mocha eye shadow, and a sparkly but sheer lip gloss(shinny will hopefully attract Ron’s attention to the lips!)


Ron actually seemed considerably more appalled by the lack of eyebrows and ton of slap than he was by the shinbone Hermione was carrying in her mouth.

"Damn," the Sue muttered. "Rump steak next time..."

No one gives Moi a detention.

XD!!!! Macros, please!

Applause came from all over, deafning me. Yes. Deafaning.

Well, WHICH?

The difference being I'm not in love with Hazzer, (Oh, I know! But it's just such an ace name... right?)

No. It's wrong. It is, in fact, the wrongest wrong thing ever to be strained out of a universe of wrongness with a sieve of Wrong.

Go back to America. Go directly back to America. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. (Well, actually, that's unfair... what have the Yanks done to deserve her? But perhaps it can be arranged for her ship to sink halfway there.)

Pica, I now seriously worry for your sanity; it must have been a serious trial collecting all these. Congratulations, and get thee to St. Mango's.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-03-08 05:09 am UTC (link)
Oh, don't worry about me. I have apple spice cake. That makes everything better.

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(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-03-08 06:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]thelittlebudgie, 2009-03-08 05:27 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tyaweasley, 2009-03-08 05:45 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-03-08 06:12 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]animeshen, 2009-03-08 07:59 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shocolate, 2009-03-08 10:31 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]anthimaeria, 2009-03-08 01:36 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-03-08 02:13 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-03-09 04:39 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]danel4d, 2009-03-08 08:29 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]very_last_jedi, 2009-03-08 03:34 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]pica_scribit
2009-03-08 05:00 am UTC (link)
It had been playing songs so long that it was almost to the end of the 700 songs I had on there

Unless these songs are all astoundingly short, it would take well over 24 hours to listen to that many. WHY do these authors think their readers will be fascinated to hear paragraph after paragraph about their musical tastes and their favourite outfits?

my new maple wood wand of 13 inches with dragon heart string and a unicorn hair infused together(Mr. Olivander beamed when he told me it was the rarest wand in existence and he expected a lot of its counterpart)

You know, you'd think the Sue!wand would come up a lot more in this fandom. I went as far as to give the Weasley twins matching madrona wood wands once, but this is really speshul.

I suddenly noticed that Harry looked extremely cute in his uniform and I blushed, knowing that he probably thought the same of me considering Ron wouldn’t take his eyes of my chest( okay I know they were abnormally large for an eleven year old and I wore a size B bra and a size 8 jeans so I was probably delectable to the male race but that’s just being perverted!).

No; "perverted" is when you write fanfiction sexualising 11-year-olds. Also, Size 8 jeans in the UK would be pretty huge, from what I recall. Does this Sue have big boobs *and* an enormous ass? No wonder she likes the song "Baby Got Back".

Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor.

Because British humour is totally not twisted. Also? Will someone please spank this foul-mouthed 11-year-old?

I pushed her into the adjoining bathroom and immediately started straightening her hair with my muggle hair flat iron(I rigged it to be fueled by magic as there obviously aren’t any plugs anywhere in a stone castle) and adding anti frizz and volumizing serums(I love my hair so I buy every product I see in the salon).
I pulled out my eyebrow waxing kit and heated the wax using a fire spell. Making sure there would be no pained screaming in the castle at(I checked the clock)6:45am(WOW! I was making good time!), I numbed Hermione’s eyebrows with a spell I found in a book I bought in Flourish and Blott’s called The Magic Behind Beauty. I then ripped the hell out of her eyebrows and hit her with another spell that I learned in the book to reduce redness.
Her skin was flawless so I figured all she needed was some black eyeliner, a mocha eye shadow, and a sparkly but sheer lip gloss(shinny will hopefully attract Ron’s attention to the lips!).


Is anyone else thinking "makeover rape"? Because this sounds almost violent, and i see no indication that Hermione consented, or is even conscious.

Turns out I was far too boring for them.

I totally see their point.

Lord I'm so evil, is now scared of Dumbledore. (Seriously, he's just some old guy with a beard. What's to be scared of?)

Yeah, he couldn't possibly be wise or knowledgable or powerfully magical or anything. That takes being young and hot and being able to glow in the dark or whatever.

A really, I mean, really manky hat appeared in his hands. Ew. I was NOT having THAT on my head.

Don't worry; one look at you, and it will know the only place for you is Bitchiwitch.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ozbourne
2009-03-09 12:03 am UTC (link)
Also, Size 8 jeans in the UK would be pretty huge, from what I recall.

Uh, I'm pretty sure a UK size 8 jeans are about the equivalent of a US size 2 or 4, which isn't big at all even on an 11 year old.

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(no subject) - [info]messiah_noire, 2009-03-09 09:34 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]seekingnevada, 2009-03-11 02:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]seekingnevada, 2009-03-11 02:46 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-03-09 04:40 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stickingplaster, 2009-03-12 02:56 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ryuu_no_namida
2009-03-08 06:16 am UTC (link)
Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.
Soo wait....if a male veela can only have a male partner, but male veela are always dominant.....how does that work, then? And then there's the female veela, because if the male can only have a male partner, and the female can have either male or female....but the male can only have male, then.......How in God's name do they make more veela???

Wait...no...I don't really want you to answer that. Just forget I asked.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ryuu_no_namida
2009-03-08 06:31 am UTC (link)
Also, I keep reading Slytherin as Slitheen. Too much Doctor Who?

But, since we're here again, anyways....is it just me or is seven hundred a rather paltry amount of songs to have on an iPod that shouldn't be working at a magic school? I suppose it depends on the type of iPod, but it seems it's supposed to be impressive, and yet I am not impressed.

And, I'm sorry, but Gaelic is not *that* hard! And why was that note even IN there?

Ugh, I really am sick when I'm trying to apply Earth Logic to this stuff.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]manicr, 2009-03-08 12:07 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-03-08 02:29 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryuu_no_namida, 2009-03-10 01:31 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]_plethora_, 2009-03-08 06:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]karthzon, 2009-03-10 02:22 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]brewingtrouble
2009-03-08 06:32 am UTC (link)
Hermione could make her voice sound like a police woman...
Is anyone else getting a mental image of Hermoine trying to do her best impersonation of Officer Jenny from Pokemon??

Veela are extremely beautiful human looking creatures. [...] Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.
I'm guessing they can only reproduce more fullblooded veela via assbabies.

...a tired beaten looking Pot- Harry.
Pot-Harry icon plz. Extra points if it's an MJ joke.

“The stone represents the earth, the burning candle the fire, the crystal the water and the incense the air. Together they form the four elements. We will need them during this ritual.” Maira Macha explains.
Your powers combined, I am... CAPTAIN MAGICK!!!

“Well, professor I never knew that you were you strong!” Ron says in surprise.
Professor Snape looks at him with a mysterious smile on his lips.
“I am full of surprises, Mister Weasly! “ Professor Snape answers.

I have such a dirty mind....

My mother heard this prophecy just before I was born so she decided to name me Luminiscentine which means “Goddess of Light” in Latin and give me the middle name of Aya which in Cherokee translated into “me”.
"Me Goddess of Light!"
"No, you Mary Sue. Me bored reader."

"Glad to see you came around to my way of thinking" I thought to the hat. "And... If we ever meet again... Just remember. Rip. You. To. Shreds. MANUALLY."
Boy was I evil.

"Sorry, I meant Slytherin!" the Hat called back with a grin, as soon as it was safely in the clutches of the Professor.

Then Harry (sigh) came up behind me, his breath tickling my neck. "Congratulations Lizzie. I knew it." He whispered.
That boy is so... Nygh!!!

... okay, sound effect of Bitchiwitch Sue here creaming herself is not required.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ryuu_no_namida
2009-03-08 06:51 am UTC (link)
Oh God, please, someone make a Captain Magic icon! That's just brilliant!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]xfortytwo, 2009-03-08 01:16 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]very_last_jedi, 2009-03-08 03:40 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]animeshen
2009-03-08 08:02 am UTC (link)
Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.

And what is the evolutionary benefit of this? How does this aide them in reproduction?

Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor. “Ron, go buy a dildo for that mangina of yours and go fuck yourself!”

And she's only eleven?!
They grow up so fast.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]brewingtrouble
2009-03-08 10:13 am UTC (link)
And what is the evolutionary benefit of this? How does this aide them in reproduction?
One word: assbabies.

Hey, it's fanfic.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]karthzon, 2009-03-08 10:55 am UTC (Expand)

[info]shocolate
2009-03-08 10:26 am UTC (link)
I had earlier thought Hermione to do the dances of “Walk it out”, “Crank Dat Souja Boy”, and “Baby Got Back” like a true “gangsta”.

This is ridiculously IC - I do not see what your problem is!

Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor. “Ron, go buy a dildo for that mangina of yours and go fuck yourself!”

Ah, I see - yes, JKR uses 'OK', not 'Okay' - you wild American fanfic writers!!!

(Reply to this)


[info]karthzon
2009-03-08 11:22 am UTC (link)
Opening it Draco flipped threw looking for the right outfit. Finally Draco found it. A silver velvet Renaissance tunic with white sleeves with green and black trim to the front, a black velvet cape with a silver chain connecting it in the front, white vinyl boots, black stretch pants, and a black velvet hat with a silver feather. Also a silver mask with gold and silver swirls painting simple but beautiful patterns over the front and a black tear mark in the right eye corner, along with a green gem on the forehead of the mask and one green, one black, and one silver feather off the side.

Good lord, fashion disaster much? Either dress for the Carnival of Venice or a gay bar, but please for the love of all that is good and holy, decide which!

“Draco, what has happened? Why is Miss Macha leaning on your shoulder?” Professor Snape asks.
“She has fallen down the stairs!” Draco says.
“Draco, don’t you say that you have dropt her! Our honoured quest!” Profesor Snape cries.
“No, Sir she slipped! But still I am ashamed! Deeply ashamed! A Malfoy who let a lady fall is really a scandal! I Fear that my ancestors are turning around in their graves and that they already lay six feet deeper1 I can hear them!” Draco cries.


“The stone represents the earth, the burning candle the fire, the crystal the water and the incense the air. Together they form the four elements. We will need them during this ritual.” Maira Macha explains.
“Alright, let us start! I am longing for my salvation! “ Draco Malffoy says.


" I am very grateful to you, but I fear that it was in vain. I am lost. And if I have to die than I want to die with a clear conscience. Harry, Ron, Hermoine I have to confess something to you. I have always been a mean spoiled brat. I have always treated you very badly. I have always bullied you and I have even enjoyed it.
But now I see I was wrong. Harry can praise himself with friends like you! And I have to confess I always wanted to be a part of you. But I feared that my father wouldn’t ever accept it because you aren’t purebloods. I wish I hadn’t listened to him. But know it´s to late. I will never have the change to become a friend of you because I wouldn´t be there anymore. But I want to ask you something. Would you please if you are able to do it, forgive me for everything I have done! I know that I am not worthy but please let me die in peace!" Draco says with tears in his eyes.


Uh... was Draco replaced by a comedic Japanese samurai while I wasn't looking?

He carries Draco’s unconsciousness form in his arms down the many stairs that lead to hiss office.

So Snape is a Parselmouth? I'm not all that surprised, actually...

Harry and Ron are speechless while the are filled with grief.. The only thing they can do is not..

Not what? Not laugh their arses off? Not retch at the horrible mischaracterization? WHAT, Suethor? Tell us!

When Snape doesn’t react Draco starts to search for a sing of life from the professor.

Please let there not be a musical number. Please let there not be a musical number. Please let there not be a musical number.

I took a mental note to try to wear fishnets with the uniform skirt that’s style intrigued me and I hitched up the skirt to make it realistic wear of a pre-teen and add cushion to my newly pierced belly button.

NO.

I repeatedly fake sneezed until he asked me if I was okay and I retorted cleverly, “No Harry Potter I’m allergic to your bullshit!”

That... wasn't clever at all.

At the age of fifteen, they chucked me out. Serves them right.

Uh... no. Serves YOU right. Since you were the one expelled and everything.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ryuu_no_namida
2009-03-10 01:43 am UTC (link)
Uh... no. Serves YOU right. Since you were the one expelled and everything.

Well, she WAS expelled... You expect her to know the difference?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]r05km
2009-03-08 01:14 pm UTC (link)
//Oh My Goodness. Hermione said inside her head.// Clearly written by an author who hears voices in their head, and naturally assumes everyone struggles to differentiate between the speakers.

//"Now class seat down." Said Professor Mcgonagall
Everyone went silent.//
"Professor," Hermione said hesitantly, "are you drunk?"
"Sharrup!"


// The event is called the Yull Ball. The Yull Ball is a dance. You all need to go and you all will learn to dance. Now get a partner and they do not have to go with you to the dance . You may pick your own."
"Will you dance with me?"
"Okay."
They danced. // It was an excellent time for all, although dissapointingly Hermione wasn't as good as mimicking Deborah Kerr as some of the other girls. Harry felt afterwards that shaving his head had been a waste on her.


//It was the most beautiful necklace she ever saw. It was shaped like a heart and was a beauitful color. Purple.
"Your welcome....this is to show the love that we have."// Harry smiled ruefully, "You know, the way you make my heart purple and my balls blue."

//You looked up and spotted (first) platinum blonde hair. Making your way down to icy, blue eyes and coming to rest on a face with fine features.// So far you weren't impressed by the O2's 'climb on a giant porcelain doll' exhibit.

//Before you could do anything else, Christina grabbed your hand and fled out of the dorm room.
My hair! UGH! I'm gunna get her back for this!// but later Miss Goody got over her qualms about being seen bald.

//Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.// making them even less biologically adaptable than the fated panda and more sexually confused than the natterjack toad.

//Opening it Draco flipped threw looking for the right outfit. Finally Draco found it. A silver velvet Renaissance tunic with white sleeves with green and black trim to the front, a black velvet cape with a silver chain connecting it in the front, white vinyl boots, black stretch pants, and a black velvet hat with a silver feather. Also a silver mask with gold and silver swirls painting simple but beautiful patterns over the front and a black tear mark in the right eye corner, along with a green gem on the forehead of the mask and one green, one black, and one silver feather off the side.// "Excuse me," said a voice. Draco turned to look at Ziggy, who appeared both bemused and annoyed, "Who said you could look through my props cupboard?"

//Normally the people of Avalon speak gealic. But because Gealic is a very difficult language to write en read I let the people of Avalon speak English or else no one would be able to read it.// I mean duh, everyone knows the irish are illiterate. We make them learn english for their own good!

//At the age of eleven, I was told by some witch called Clarissa that, well, I was a witch.// In fact, Clarissa Explained It All.

//Then Harry (sigh) came up behind me, his breath tickling my neck. "Congratulations Lizzie. I knew it." He whispered.
That boy is so... Nygh!!!// North York General Hospital?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-03-08 02:42 pm UTC (link)
//"Now class seat down." Said Professor Mcgonagall
Everyone went silent.//
"Professor," Hermione said hesitantly, "are you drunk?"
"Sharrup!"


The only way this could have been better is if McGonagall had channelled Father Jack.
"Feck off!"

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]r05km, 2009-03-08 02:47 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryuu_no_namida, 2009-03-10 01:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ryuu_no_namida, 2009-03-10 01:47 am UTC (Expand)

[info]evelanstoneleaf
2009-03-08 10:22 pm UTC (link)
Now get a partner and they do not have to go with you to the dance
“Good,” Harry muttered, “I know just who to pick.”
As the great hall emptied after dinner that night, Harry stood outside the doors, waiting, until a familiar drawling voice reached his ears.
“Malfoy! Harry gasped, leaping out in front of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, “Will you be my partner?”
A moment of stunned silence followed.
“Your partner?” Malfoy stuttered, stunned.
“So that I don’t have to go to the dance with you!” Harry pleaded. “Please?”


Hermione could make her voice sound like a police woman Siren.

You looked up and spotted (first) platinum blonde hair. Making your way down to icy, blue eyes and coming to rest on a face with fine features.
You fail at looking up. Just fail…

Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female.
Except, you know not, because…

Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.
Witch should make reproduction… er… interesting.

Flexing a little I felt new muscles move and I looked back. Two silver and green wings were stretching out carefully and I smiled.
Let’s guess what house this princess is in…

Opening it Draco flipped threw looking for the right outfit. Finally Draco found it. A silver velvet Renaissance tunic with white sleeves with green and black trim to the front, a black velvet cape with a silver chain connecting it in the front, white vinyl boots, black stretch pants, and a black velvet hat with a silver feather. Also a silver mask with gold and silver swirls painting simple but beautiful patterns over the front and a black tear mark in the right eye corner, along with a green gem on the forehead of the mask and one green, one black, and one silver feather off the side.
Half way through this paragraph, my eyes just glazed over from boredom and I got this:
…….. White …. Green ………….….. Silver ………Black …………...……. Green ……. Silver ……… silver……………….…….. green…… Silver………. Side.

Please welcome, Miss Maira Macha from the island of Avalon!”
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! */fangirl scream*

Ron wouldn’t take his eyes of my chest( okay I know they were abnormally large for an eleven year old and I wore a size B bra and a size 8 jeans so I was probably delectable to the male race but that’s just being perverted!).
DX Eleven year olds who listen to rap music and have boobies. Erh.

Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor. “Ron, go buy a dildo for that mangina of yours and go fuck yourself!”
Unfortunately, the insult did not go over as well as she had wanted, as none of them knew what a dildo or a mangina was.

I bet that’s the first and last time you will ever hear question of your genitalia and realization pf your girlish charm in one sentence.
Ok… now even I have no idea what she is talking about…

I pushed her into the adjoining bathroom and immediately started straightening her hair with my muggle hair flat iron(I rigged it to be fueled by magic as there obviously aren’t any plugs anywhere in a stone castle)
The iron immediately exploded. Come on! She’s ELEVEN!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]miss_daizy
2009-03-09 02:50 am UTC (link)
Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor. “Ron, go buy a dildo for that mangina of yours and go fuck yourself!”
Unfortunately, the insult did not go over as well as she had wanted, as none of them knew what a dildo or a mangina was.


Nor was it funny.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]copper_pentacle
2009-03-08 11:35 pm UTC (link)
My mother heard this prophecy just before I was born so she decided to name me Luminiscentine which means “Goddess of Light” in Latin

I totally thought that said "Lemon-Scented" for the longest time. >>'

My four best friends from the U.S., Professor Dumbledore and my mom came into view. WAIT! My four best friends? I blinked and they were still there. There they stood, Steven Macabee, Jamie Basque, Sherrie Myers, and Dallas Stallone(A/N: Yes I gave you guys some weird names, but they fit your personalities… somewhat, so deal with it!).

MY SUBTLE SELF/FRIEND-INSERT, LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

Edited at 2009-03-08 11:57 pm UTC

(Reply to this)


[info]elethian
2009-03-09 04:30 am UTC (link)
It was the most beautiful necklace she ever saw. It was shaped like a heart and was a beauitful color. Purple.

Some characters were harmed in the making of this fic.

a tired beaten looking Pot- Harry.

So when he's an Auror, will he be hammered copper?

They have never seen such a beautiful woman in their whole lives. Especially the boys can take their eyes of her.

Because there are no such things as lesbians.

“No, Sir she slipped! But still I am ashamed! Deeply ashamed! A Malfoy who let a lady fall is really a scandal! I Fear that my ancestors are turning around in their graves and that they already lay six feet deeper1 I can hear them!” Draco cries.

I... I just... no words.

And than Draco does something very unusual!

Because the rest of this story was so run-of-the-mill.

The three of them walk into Draco direction.

East, south, west, and Draco.

Harry can praise himself with friends like you!

Harry can praise himself without them, too. In fact, does. (Not to mention whom he may or may not be with when he "praises" himself...)

And I have to confess I always wanted to be a part of you. But I feared that my father wouldn’t ever accept it because you aren’t purebloods. I wish I hadn’t listened to him.

Um. Well. That's one possible interpretation of Draco's character HBP and DH, I guess...

I will never have the change to become a friend of you

I think Draco has plenty of change in the Malfoy vault, thanks.

Harry and his friends and professor Snape start to cry by these words.

No doubt. But not for the reason the author would wish.

“Good night children I hope you will have sweat dreams” Dumbledore says

"Have a great workout, now! Remember to isolate those lats!"

Even if the meeting is not physically or if there is a long distance between you two. You can see it as a new way of communication.

And the wizarding world finally discovers Twitter.

She reminds him a little of his aunt Bellatrrix but than more beautiful.

Tony the Tiger sez: "Bellatrrix: She's grrreat!"

Draco starts to search for a sing of life from the professor.



I had long since pulled out my I Pod

Well of course. I wouldn't want to have to listen to the rest of this fic, myself.

It had been playing songs so long that it was almost to the end of the 700 songs I had on there

Well? Title-shuffle meme, come on. We're waiting.

I had earlier thought Hermione to do the dances of “Walk it out”, “Crank Dat Souja Boy”, and “Baby Got Back” like a true “gangsta”.

But in a moment of sobriety I realized that that was totally not what she had been doing

outrageously colored laces of blue, pink, and purple

Truly truly truly outrageous!

jammed through the holes

D:

If I want to hear about anything being jammed through any holes, I'll read some other fanfic.

My shirt, of course, wasn’t tucked in because it left me with the feeling of a raunchy old woman

...

No, seriously, I am completely lost as to what I am supposed to picture here.

“No Harry Potter I’m allergic to your bullshit!”

"Well then stay off the fucking ranch!"

Okay, it was time to pull out my sick American humor

Um, no, please, don't. Stick to British humour. Or Canadian or Australian if you must.

I was told by some witch called Clarissa that, well, I was a witch.

Clarissa, the Teenaged Witch?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ryuu_no_namida
2009-03-10 02:37 am UTC (link)
"Um, no, please, don't. Stick to British humour. Or Canadian or Australian if you must."
Or at least something that's remotely funny...

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]ija_ijewna, 2009-03-12 09:06 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-03-12 09:10 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]aqualung
2009-03-09 04:32 am UTC (link)
I then ripped the hell out of her eyebrows

D8 That sounds VERY painful.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]elethian
2009-03-09 06:40 am UTC (link)
But at least her eyebrows got sanctified. Too many people neglect this basic item of self-care these days.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]loki_nitsano
2009-03-09 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Female veela can be either dominant or submissive depending on their partner, which can be male or female. Male veela on the other hand are always dominant and their partner is always male.

Does this mean that one of them always tells the truth, and one of them always lies?

Also Yull Ball just makes me think of Yul Brenner in The King and I

(Reply to this)


[info]ija_ijewna
2009-03-12 09:03 pm UTC (link)
When Snape doesn’t react Draco starts to search for a sing of life from the professor.

A sings of life; my guesses:
Bee Gees: "Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive, staying alive..."
Barbra Streisand: "I will survive..."
Bon Jovi: "It's my life. It's now or never. Ain't gonna live forever..."

(Reply to this)


[info]oxygenfreereba
2009-03-20 04:02 am UTC (link)
It is now my duty to end every sentence with MANUALLY.

I'm going to go make myself a sandwich. MANUALLY.

After reading badfic, I want to tear my hair out. MANUALLY.

(Reply to this)


[info]sunihiroku
2009-08-12 06:01 pm UTC (link)
"if you put me in Slytherin I will PERSONALLY rip you to shreds... manually, and very, very slowly..."

If I were the hat, this'd be a one-way ticket to Slytherin.

(Reply to this)


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