The Babbling Chronicles ([info]babb_chronicles) wrote,
@ 2009-06-01 22:56:00
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Current mood: week in the knees
Current music:something COPYRIGHTED.

Part CCXXXV - with all the gentleness of a stranger
(link)
“Here, let me try again,” Said Edward. “Hello Angela, I am Cedric Diggory.” Edward stuck out his hand; Angela shook it with an amazed smile on her face.
“Oh. My. God. I can’t believe my friggen eyes. You are totally like a hero!”
“You have got to be kidding me! Is anything fake anymore? So you’re saying Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Hogwarts is real?”
“Yeah, and I could have won the triwizard tournament too if it wasn’t for that stupid, Lord Voldemort!”
“Wait! But I was there in the crowd! I saw your dad run towards you and cry over your dead body! Now I know that you were faking but who was that man?”
“He was an actor; Carlisle paid him to be my father.”
**
(link)
It was from the clinical beating he had received from his father, James, earlier that day.
*
His father would have beaten him if he had taken any more, and it was expected of submissives to be small and willowy, and never to be seen being greedy.

*
The Alpha was in charge of everyone in Europe, the continent of werewolves. All the humans had left the continent when the population of werewolves began to outnumber them. Eventually all the world’s leaders simply sent any werewolves of their country to Europe where they would be out of the way and looked after by their own people.
**
(link)
Severus was a man that went after what he wanted and he knew that if he wanted Hermione Granger that he was going to have to play by the rules. It was rather hard to wine and dine someone when you couldn’t leave the bloody house; he was going to make the best of what he had and win his prize. Severus only hoped that after the deed was done that she wouldn’t think that it was going to be anything more then sex by confinement, if he had to be stuck he wanted to fuck and the Brown chit was out he suspected that the girl had more partners then he and the dark rivals always came with a women or many for that matter. After the to small skirt day as he now thought of it she started going back to her normal style of dress, Severus could not be happier one more outfit like that and he would have to show her what the big bang theory was really all about.
*
Oh Merlin he kissed her first on the cheek then right on the side of her mouth and now, now he was kissing her on her mouth; she was kissing him back and loving every minute of it his warm lips was on hers like rain drops on roses, he slid his hands up to tangle in her hair and in turn she grabbed the back of his robes she didn’t know how long they were standing there like that and she didn’t care. Hermione was a where of his lips parting hers and his tongue sliding into her mouth it was wonderful and she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else but right there in his arms.
When the kiss broke Hermione was still in a daze just starring at Severus’s lips like she was animal after its prey. “I want you Hermione! I want to make you scream my name and cum over and over until you beg me to stop fucking your pretty little body would you like that? Would you like me to suck your little pussy until it feels like I have been fucking you” Hermione was week in the knees who knew that dirty talk was sooo good in any case she knew why he liked it, her body was on fire and only he could put it out with the hard body she was feeling though his robes and the silk of his voice,
*
I have one more question for you how would you feel if I called you bad names while taking you Hermione how would you feel if I called you my kinky dirty little slut or filthy little bitch Answer me” “My panties are really wet right now”. Hermione’s eyes opened wide she couldn’t believe she let what she was thinking come out of her mouth, Snape on the other hand felt like he had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
*
She had heard Lavender the super slut once say that white wizards and black wizards differ in size that black wizards were more endowed then white but that seemed to be just a rumor (A/N: Take it from me it is just a rumor LMAO) because he was huge
*
He was still rubbing her breast and she his monstrous cock and if she kept on that way he was going to cum so hard that it would scare her away. Place a hand over her he stilled her motion” I think you should stop I am very close to orgasm”
*
he never realized how great her ass was soft yet strong like she was a runner yet big enough to let one know that she didn’t shy away from food
*
Severus had his hair pushed back in a ponytail and when she looked down he had forgone shoes his feet was very pretty for a man that wore boots all of the time and taking all of this in made Hermione’s head spin with need
*
“Hermione yes you little… dame yes suck my balls witch fuck”
**
(link)
The following story is fanfiction COPYRIGHTED. The author, CRUDEDUDE, reserves all rights to original work. It may be freely distributed online, posted and archived electronically, only in its entirety, including all header material. It may not be changed or altered without the authors permission. It may not be sold in whole or in any part, or as part of an electronic document, printed material, voice recording or any other manner without proper copyright clearances being obtained from the author.
*
He was another young newbie after all, and I, an experienced Master of Males, and user of men, had no great interest in another untrained cunt licker who thought he was submissive.
*
(The narrator is describing Snape.)
And I’ll admit, he was fucking hot. I had been skeptical he had sent fake picks, until the first time he showed me him self by floo. He was 21, petite and slender with small smooth balls. He had long hair down to them shoulders, and a face that was both cute and fuckable.
*
She grabbed my hair and dragged me into her house. It hurt and I scraped my knees, but I was just happy she let me in. She took out her dildo and told me to “suck it bitch” and I did.
Did you do a good job?
I tried Narcissa Maam. I tired to give her dildo the best blow job I’ve ever given.
*
You should never spit out a woman’s dildo.
Yes Narcissa Maam, I agree.
*
She plunged him deep into her cunt, with all the gentleness of a stranger, rape fucked his increasingly cock for a good 20 hours.
*
After a long chat with me, he concluded that he didn’t deserve to have his foreskin anymore, and so began begging her to remove it for him, so he could more properly focus on her. She has promised it will be removed soon and done quite painfully.
**
(link)
“ I know you can do it Lily” said James.
“James I am never going to let you get pregnant again” said Lily.
*
“ Oh hi Albus, what’s wrong” said James.
“ There was a prophecy made about your son, daughter and Voldemort” said Albus.
“In the prophecy its says one day that these two will meet up and over take Voldemort, I am here to take Haley, to make sure the two of them in the future and get rid of Voldemort” said Albus.
“Ok, Hopefully we will be able to see her later in life”
**
(link)
“Dad don’t listen to the dark Lord, I’m your son” said Draco. “But I have to or the dark Lord will kill our family” said Lucious. “Then kill him first” said Draco. “But he will know who I am “ said Lucious.
**
(link)
Authors Note: This is a good story.
*
“Hermione is Catherine my daughter” said Draco.
“Yes she is” said Hermione.
“Why didn’t you tell” said Draco.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want her” said Hermione
“I would’ve wanted her because she was my daughter and she came from my beautiful girlfriend” said Draco.
Draco started to kiss her. “Mummy why are kissing the man from the toy store” said Catherine
“Hey Catherine sweetie I’m your daddy” said Draco. “Daddy” said Catherine. Then Catherine hugged her daddy for the first time in five years.
“Hermione would you marry me and we can have more kids” said Draco giving her a diamond ring
“Yes” said Hermione
7 years later
“Hey babe how was your day” said Draco. “It was fine” said Hermione
The next day they had a family portrait it was with Hermione, Draco, Catherine, twin girls Gabriella and Kristen, twin boys Tristan and Edmund and the baby triplets Peter, Lucy and Susan.
Author’s Note: That was so sad. Please Review!!!!!
**
(link)
"Mom what is this about a pureblood disease"said Ginny.
"Oh dear, back when Voldemort was in power most pureblood families couldn't get pregnant with any kids because of their dark marks, some exptions were made and some pureblood families were able to have kids but only one, so thats why all the pureboolded kids at Hogwarts are only child in their family, why do you ask?"said Mrs. Weasley.
"Well its seems Hermione's parents borrowed money from the Malfoy's and now she is bethrothed to Draco" said Harry.
*
“Good Morning Hermione my dear daughter me and your father can’t be at the meeting today we have many appointments at the office” said her mother.
“Its ok mom I can handle it” said Hermione.
At 11:00 Hermione put on a pink mini skirt with a cute pink top with mascara, pink eye shadow and pink lip-gloss.
*
“ Hermione, I was wondering what you were going to do after you graduated Hogwarts this year, we have seen all of your reports since you we’re a first year and me and Lucuis are very well surprised, you very much can do anything in the wizarding world” said Narissca.
“Well I was hoping to become a healer” said Hermione.
“Well that wonderful Hermione we are going to be very proud of you when you do” said Lucuis.
“We want to have a big engagement party and you can invite all of your friends and a grand wedding “said Narissca.
“I’ve always planned my wedding and engagement party to be grand and beautiful” said Hermione.
**
(link)
I looked at the letter Hogwarts: school of witchcraft and wizardry, yeah right. I so don’t belong their I have no magic plus I’m a princess. Sort of I was adopted by the king of the Jade kingdom one of the gem kingdoms which are the only ones with royalty.
*
‘Ill be the oldest first year ever grrr’. I am 13 and my magic powers just appeared. I can make flowers grown inside buildings, the only problem is I can’t control it.
*
I told her my real last name and she just looked at me. “But isn’t Moon the king and queen of the Jade kingdom over there in England?” “No its near England and yeah I was adopted.”
*
Dear Lily;
We found out who your mother is she is Isabelle and she lives in England. She is a witch and your father is wizard I heard from Isabelle that he works a boarding school for witches anyway the school knows this and used their last name. So that you could keep the princess thing secret also because Isabelle wants to adopt you. Anyway you can talk to her this summer and maybe stay with them for a while. Anyway I hope you are having a great time at Hogwarts.
Love,
Your mom, Queen Moon
**(link)      (Pottersues report)
When she finished, everyone was in awe.
“What? I write songs and play guitar.” She said, putting the guitar down.
“You’re amazing.” Everybody said, screamed…yelled…fainted…
*
Black fur appeared on her, and she shrunk down to a 4 ft. tall, black, pupiless, golden eyed wolf with scars outlining her face. Bangs that were a deep chocolate brown with golden highlights covered her eyes.
**
(link)
With a muffled groan, Harry licked the weeping cock juice from Severus’s uncut pecker.
“GREAT GRYFFINDOR!” Snape gushed.
*
Severus felt it all slipping. The cool façade, that bit of distance he built between them; the role of educator and mentor, how can he be these things for Harry James Potter, since now the great hero held a mouth full of his legacy.
*
“Do you like my pecker Professor?” Harry hissed lifting his hips repeatedly.
*
The cock erupted from the Potion Master’s talented mouth, he moved quickly between Harry’s spread legs, the buffet before him
*
Snape slipped his cock inside the wet opening, pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside the Seekers’ Secret. He grabbed Harry’s hips firmly, pulling out and watching his happy cock mesmerized before shoving back in.
**
(link)
“There’s more to it than that,” he said and Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. “Potter, male wizards can have children, as I’m sure you are aware,” he started and Harry nodded his head, “well the contract your ancestor signed with the other family promised that the Potter side of the contract would bear an heir for the other family, whether it be a female or male carrier.”
“So you’re telling me that I have to bear a child for a family I don’t know?” Harry asked, feeling shocked.
“Well first we need to determine if you are a carrier,”
*
After they had signed the contracts, two red ropes flowed from the contracts and wrapped around Draco and Harry’s wrists, a white rope connecting them. Two purple ropes split from the ones around the boys wrists and attached to the girls wrists.
“Those will signal if there is ever a problem,” Mr. Stonewall said, nodding to the ropes. “If either of the boys are in trouble, the matching one on the others wrist will throb as well as the ones around the chaperone‘s. If the boys become too close, the ones on the chaperone’s will throb.
*
“Excellent,” she said, standing, “let us continue with our lessons.” With that a fully set table appeared across the room. “Starting tonight, we will cover the proper way to eat a meal.”



(76 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]shocolate
2009-06-01 10:29 pm UTC (link)
After a long chat with me, he concluded that he didn’t deserve to have his foreskin anymore, and so began begging her to remove it for him, so he could more properly focus on her. She has promised it will be removed soon and done quite painfully.

I... I always complain that there aren't enough good British foreskins in fic.

I have changed my mind.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 12:41 am UTC (link)
Fangirls do not know how to treat a foreskin properly; that's all.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]eir_de_scania, 2009-06-02 04:51 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-02 05:31 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 10:39 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]vethica
2009-06-01 10:32 pm UTC (link)
“Yeah, and I could have won the triwizard tournament too if it wasn’t for that stupid, Lord Voldemort!”
"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Dark Lord!"

Someone had to say it.

(Reply to this)


[info]disbelieves
2009-06-01 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Snape slipped his cock inside the wet opening, pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside the Seekers’ Secret.
1) Wet?
2) Pelvis?!
3) SEEKERS' SECRET?!?!?! DDDDD:

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]xfortytwo
2009-06-01 10:48 pm UTC (link)
There are so many things wrong with that one sentence, I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry. I'm going for both, at the moment.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]mistyraven, 2009-06-04 12:08 am UTC (Expand)

[info]coendou
2009-06-01 11:03 pm UTC (link)
his warm lips was on hers like rain drops on roses

And whiskers on kittens?

Also, why does it seem like all the female Harry!twins are always named Haley? That's at least the third I've seen, I think.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 12:43 am UTC (link)
Because "Haley" is almost like "Harry", and Suethors cannot open their minds enough to consider the possibility of twins having dissimilar names. This probably wouldn't be a good time to mention my friend Kara and her twin sister Tara, would it?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-02 01:12 am UTC (Expand)

[info]randomneses
2009-06-01 11:04 pm UTC (link)
She had heard Lavender the super slut once say that white wizards and black wizards differ in size that black wizards were more endowed then white but that seemed to be just a rumor (A/N: Take it from me it is just a rumor LMAO) because he was huge

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

NO.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]cheryl_bites
2009-06-03 01:12 pm UTC (link)
Your gif is spot on. *Approves*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]copper_pentacle
2009-06-01 11:59 pm UTC (link)
The next day they had a family portrait it was with Hermione, Draco, Catherine, twin girls Gabriella and Kristen, twin boys Tristan and Edmund and the baby triplets Peter, Lucy and Susan.

GOD DAMN IT. KEEP MY FANDOM OUT OF YOUR BADFIC. >:'C

Dear Lily;
We found out who your mother is she is Isabelle and she lives in England. She is a witch and your father is wizard I heard from Isabelle that he works a boarding school for witches anyway the school knows this and used their last name. So that you could keep the princess thing secret also because Isabelle wants to adopt you. Anyway you can talk to her this summer and maybe stay with them for a while. Anyway I hope you are having a great time at Hogwarts.
Love,
Your mom, Queen Moon


...HP/Sailor Moon crossover? O_o

the Seekers’ Secret

I lol'd. Forever.

~Amunet 8D

(Reply to this)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 12:38 am UTC (link)
“Here, let me try again,” Said Edward. “Hello Angela, I am Cedric Diggory.” Edward stuck out his hand; Angela shook it with an amazed smile on her face.

I'm going to start fining fangirls $1 for each instance of being unable distinguish between actors and the characters they play. I'll be rich!

His father would have beaten him if he had taken any more, and it was expected of submissives to be small and willowy, and never to be seen being greedy.

There is something seriously wrong with this sentence, but I've no idea where to start.

The Alpha was in charge of everyone in Europe, the continent of werewolves. All the humans had left the continent when the population of werewolves began to outnumber them. Eventually all the world’s leaders simply sent any werewolves of their country to Europe where they would be out of the way and looked after by their own people.

Because massive involuntary relocation of marginalised groups is the best way to deal with any problem. Hey, I have an idea! Let's make Vermont the Gay State! They'll be happier with their own kind, and the rest of us won't have to learn to be tolerant. Everybody wins!

She had heard Lavender the super slut once say that white wizards and black wizards differ in size that black wizards were more endowed then white but that seemed to be just a rumor (A/N: Take it from me it is just a rumor LMAO) because he was huge

Yes, make a sweeping generalisation based on the size of the two penises your friend said she saw. Because I cannot believe that anyone who writes this kind of nonsense has had a sexual experience yet.

The following story is fanfiction COPYRIGHTED. The author, CRUDEDUDE, reserves all rights to original work. It may be freely distributed online, posted and archived electronically, only in its entirety, including all header material. It may not be changed or altered without the authors permission. It may not be sold in whole or in any part, or as part of an electronic document, printed material, voice recording or any other manner without proper copyright clearances being obtained from the author.

Somebody has a high opinion of his/her own writing talents.... Oh no! [info]babb_chronicles has violated CRUDEDUDE's copyright! Prepare to be SUEDDUDE!

She plunged him deep into her cunt, with all the gentleness of a stranger, rape fucked his increasingly cock for a good 20 hours.
*
After a long chat with me, he concluded that he didn’t deserve to have his foreskin anymore, and so began begging her to remove it for him, so he could more properly focus on her. She has promised it will be removed soon and done quite painfully.


I'm surprised it didn't get worn clean off after 20 hours of fucking!

“ I know you can do it Lily” said James.
“James I am never going to let you get pregnant again” said Lily.


Het!MPREG? What is the world coming to?

“ Oh hi Albus, what’s wrong” said James.
“ There was a prophecy made about your son, daughter and Voldemort” said Albus.
“In the prophecy its says one day that these two will meet up and over take Voldemort, I am here to take Haley, to make sure the two of them in the future and get rid of Voldemort” said Albus.
“Ok, Hopefully we will be able to see her later in life”


Albus was, of course, shocked at James's cavalier attitude at being separated indefinitely from his offspring, but what he did not realise was that James strongly suspected his daughter of being a changling 'Sue, and was only too happy to see her gone.

Authors Note: This is a good story.

Thank you for saving me from having to form my own opinion of your fangirlish drivel obviously good story.

Edited at 2009-06-02 12:39 am UTC

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]r05km
2009-06-02 01:34 am UTC (link)
"Authors Note: This is a good story."

Or in other words, when subliminal messaging fails...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 12:38 am UTC (link)
“Hermione is Catherine my daughter” said Draco.
“Yes she is” said Hermione.


I don't know if it's weirder that Hermione thinks her name is Catherine, that she thinks she's Draco's daughter, or that she insists upon refering to herself in the third person.

“Hey Catherine sweetie I’m your daddy” said Draco. “Daddy” said Catherine. Then Catherine hugged her daddy for the first time in five years.
“Hermione would you marry me and we can have more kids” said Draco giving her a diamond ring
“Yes” said Hermione
7 years later
“Hey babe how was your day” said Draco. “It was fine” said Hermione
The next day they had a family portrait it was with Hermione, Draco, Catherine, twin girls Gabriella and Kristen, twin boys Tristan and Edmund and the baby triplets Peter, Lucy and Susan.
Author’s Note: That was so sad. Please Review!!!!!


Way to plow right through all that boring character development. Yes, I agree; that was a very sad attempt at storytelling. Are you sure you want me to review?

"Oh dear, back when Voldemort was in power most pureblood families couldn't get pregnant with any kids because of their dark marks, some exptions were made and some pureblood families were able to have kids but only one, so thats why all the pureboolded kids at Hogwarts are only child in their family, why do you ask?"said Mrs. Weasley.

Yes, let's create a world where the Pure Blood are the elite...and will all die out within a generation. And why exactly would the Death Eaters sign on for this one?

“Good Morning Hermione my dear daughter me and your father can’t be at the meeting today we have many appointments at the office” said her mother.
“Its ok mom I can handle it” said Hermione.
At 11:00 Hermione put on a pink mini skirt with a cute pink top with mascara, pink eye shadow and pink lip-gloss.


Mr and Mrs Granger ought to be ashamed of themselves, leaving a six-year-old to fend for herself like that!

“I’ve always planned my wedding and engagement party to be grand and beautiful” said Hermione.

And everything will be pink! Proving once again that teenagers should not be allowed to make important, life-long decisions because they will just be embarrassed when they become real grownups.

I looked at the letter Hogwarts: school of witchcraft and wizardry, yeah right. I so don’t belong their I have no magic plus I’m a princess. Sort of I was adopted by the king of the Jade kingdom one of the gem kingdoms which are the only ones with royalty.
*
‘Ill be the oldest first year ever grrr’. I am 13 and my magic powers just appeared.


I was about to guess that this author was about 13, and it looks like I was spot on.

Black fur appeared on her, and she shrunk down to a 4 ft. tall, black, pupiless, golden eyed wolf with scars outlining her face. Bangs that were a deep chocolate brown with golden highlights covered her eyes.

Is that meant to sound as ridiculous as it looks in my head?

Severus felt it all slipping. The cool façade, that bit of distance he built between them; the role of educator and mentor, how can he be these things for Harry James Potter, since now the great hero held a mouth full of his legacy.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! His "legacy"! *snort* I've never heard it called that before! Please tell me this author isn't serious.

(Reply to this)


[info]elethian
2009-06-02 01:14 am UTC (link)
his warm lips was on hers like rain drops on roses

And in the morning, when he hasn't shaved yet, it'll be like whiskers on kittens. However, please note that warm woollen mittens are not to be used as a contraceptive device, and I'm really not sure I want to see his package tied up with string.

Would you like me to suck your little pussy until it feels like I have been fucking you

...wut?

Snape on the other hand felt like he had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Hermione is a leprechaun?

Lavender the super slut


?

he was going to cum so hard that it would scare her away.

What is he, a dolphin?

You should never spit out a woman’s dildo.

Uhh... okay?

with all the gentleness of a stranger

Which is how much, exactly?

After a long chat with me, he concluded that he didn’t deserve to have his foreskin anymore

I've had some random conversations in my life, but this takes the cake. Or the... something.

“Its ok mom I can handle it” said Hermione.
At 11:00 Hermione put on a pink mini skirt with a cute pink top with mascara, pink eye shadow and pink lip-gloss.


Well clearly she could not handle it; just look at all that makeup she got all over her top!

one of the gem kingdoms which are the only ones with royalty.

So the other kingdoms have... what?

I can make flowers grown inside buildings, the only problem is I can’t control it.

Hmm, have you tried talking to this potted plant? Maybe a different fertilizer?

Your mom, Queen Reverend Moon

“What? I write songs and play guitar.” She said, putting the guitar down.
“You’re amazing.” Everybody said, screamed…yelled…fainted…


That'll teach her to set Vogon poetry to music.

pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside

Has he got hinges in that thing, or something? Folds for easy storpornage?

the Seekers’ Secret.

BWAHAHA best bad euphemism for the rectum ever Y/Y?

pulling out and watching his happy cock mesmerized

I wonder how one finds work as a penis hypnotizer. Sounds like a very niche market.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]r05km
2009-06-02 01:36 am UTC (link)
"pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside

Has he got hinges in that thing, or something? Folds for easy storpornage?"

*SPORFLE* I don't yet know how, but I am determined to use that in conversation somehow. Some day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 01:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rickfan37, 2009-06-03 08:10 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-03 08:38 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rickfan37, 2009-06-03 08:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mistyraven, 2009-06-04 12:26 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-04 01:04 am UTC (Expand)

[info]animeshen
2009-06-02 01:41 am UTC (link)
rape fucked his increasingly cock for a good 20 hours

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

(Reply to this)


[info]amanuensis1
2009-06-02 01:47 am UTC (link)
For the first time in my life, I think I'm ashamed to be writing porny fanfiction. Yicccccch.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 01:58 am UTC (link)
There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. If your fanfic isn't showcased here, you're probably doing okay.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]amanuensis1, 2009-06-02 02:01 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 03:08 am UTC (Expand)

[info]the_reda
2009-06-02 03:04 am UTC (link)
'With a muffled groan, Harry licked the weeping cock juice from Severus’s uncut pecker.
“GREAT GRYFFINDOR!” Snape gushed.'

Does he get a biscuit now?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 03:09 am UTC (link)
Does he want one?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]the_reda, 2009-06-02 03:10 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 03:12 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]the_reda, 2009-06-02 03:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 04:04 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-02 04:22 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-06-04 12:04 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 11:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]the_reda, 2009-06-02 12:24 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-02 03:35 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-06-02 06:30 am UTC (Expand)

[info]cheryl_bites
2009-06-02 07:10 am UTC (link)
OK, so it seems Edward Cullen's father really is called "Carlisle". *Headdesk* WHY US, WHY US. WHY MUST CUMBERLAND'S NAME BE BESMIRCHED BY ASSOCIATION WITH THAT AWFUL BOOK?!?!?

Eventually all the world’s leaders simply sent any werewolves of their country to Europe where they would be out of the way

Well, if one's concept of "the way" is extremely selective, yes.

Severus was a man that went after what he wanted

No relation to his namesake, Snape, then. (Really, does this person imagine he ever marched up to Lily and said "Hey, baby, let me show you a good time"?)

Severus only hoped that after the deed was done that she wouldn’t think that it was going to be anything more then sex by confinement, if he had to be stuck he wanted to fuck and the Brown chit was out he suspected that the girl had more partners then he and the dark rivals always came with a women or many for that matter.

*Stares*

Oh Merlin he kissed her first on the cheek then right on the side of her mouth and now, now he was kissing her on her mouth; she was kissing him back and loving every minute of it his warm lips was on hers like rain drops on roses,

Nothing like quoting THE SOUND OF MUSIC DURING PORN!!!! *Bleaches brain*

Hermione was a where of his lips

A where wolf?

“I want you Hermione! I want to make you scream my name and cum over and over until you beg me to stop fucking your pretty little body would you like that? Would you like me to suck your little pussy until it feels like I have been fucking you”

I actually feel quite happy for the football fandom after reading this... good to know we don't have all the people who write like that.

I have one more question for you how would you feel if I called you bad names while taking you Hermione how would you feel if I called you my kinky dirty little slut or filthy little bitch Answer me” “My panties are really wet right now”.

XD Bit of a non sequitur, that. She's not even listening, is she?

She had heard Lavender the super slut once say that white wizards and black wizards differ in size that black wizards were more endowed then white but that seemed to be just a rumor (A/N: Take it from me it is just a rumor LMAO)

*Wearily* It's a white bloke writing this, isn't it?

Severus had his hair pushed back in a ponytail and when she looked down he had forgone shoes his feet was very pretty for a man that wore boots all of the time and taking all of this in made Hermione’s head spin with need

Ponytails and pretty feet are a turn-on??

The following story is fanfiction COPYRIGHTED.

ALL new original writing is copyrighted, dipshit! *Whacks*

He was another young newbie after all, and I, an experienced Master of Males, and user of men, had no great interest in another untrained cunt licker who thought he was submissive.

...Why are the people who bang on at great length about "YOU ARE NOT TO STEAL MY STORY" always the last people whose work you'd ever want to steal?

And I’ll admit, he was fucking hot. I had been skeptical he had sent fake picks,

Guitar or cake? Do we care?

You should never spit out a woman’s dildo.
Yes Narcissa Maam, I agree.


You should never tread on a snake's toes, either. (Wtf? What kind of dildo is small enough to spit out? Unless it's, like, a Bratz dildo or something - they'll probably be selling them soon.)

“James I am never going to let you get pregnant again” said Lily.

Mpreg writers should consult the characters' wives more often.

“In the prophecy its says one day that these two will meet up and over take Voldemort, I am here to take Haley, to make sure the two of them in the future and get rid of Voldemort” said Albus.
“Ok, Hopefully we will be able to see her later in life”


So, they'd happily be killed by Voldemort to save Harry, but they're not arsed at all about having their other child taken away, possibly never to be seen again. *Facepalm*

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-02 11:59 am UTC (link)
WHY US, WHY US. WHY MUST CUMBERLAND'S NAME BE BESMIRCHED BY ASSOCIATION WITH THAT AWFUL BOOK?!?!?

Hey, at least it's not set there. My home town has become a tourist destination for vapid teens!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-06-02 12:11 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 10:38 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sunihiroku, 2009-08-11 07:22 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]eir_de_scania, 2009-06-02 04:31 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]cheryl_bites
2009-06-02 07:11 am UTC (link)
“Hermione is Catherine my daughter” said Draco.
“Yes she is” said Hermione


Was everyone else as confused as I was about Draco's daughter being older than him, and Hermione/Catherine talking about herself in the third person?

"Mom what is this about a pureblood disease"said Ginny.
"Oh dear, back when Voldemort was in power most pureblood families couldn't get pregnant with any kids because of their dark marks,


*Curious* That's actually quite an interesting plot... Must be plagiarised.

At 11:00 Hermione put on a pink mini skirt with a cute pink top with mascara, pink eye shadow and pink lip-gloss.

Every boy who saw her winked so frantically that he was diagnosed with chronic blepharospasm and taken to St Mungo's.

one of the gem kingdoms which are the only ones with royalty.

*Facepalm* *Facepalm* *Facepalm*

I am 13 and my magic powers just appeared. I can make flowers grown inside buildings,

So can anyone. I didn't realise it was a special power.

Black fur appeared on her, and she shrunk down to a 4 ft. tall, black, pupiless, golden eyed wolf with scars outlining her face. Bangs that were a deep chocolate brown with golden highlights covered her eyes.

I'm not even going to ask how a wolf can have a fringe, but they certainly don't grow 4ft tall.

With a muffled groan, Harry licked the weeping cock juice from Severus’s uncut pecker.
“GREAT GRYFFINDOR!” Snape gushed.


This makes me think that his semen is spelling out words - you know, like Alphabetti Spaghetti.

The cool façade, that bit of distance he built between them; the role of educator and mentor, how can he be these things for Harry James Potter, since now the great hero held a mouth full of his legacy.

(a) He can't. They hate each other.
(b) *Notes new meaning of the word 'legacy'* Bad news for the Sims 2 fandom, that one.

The cock erupted from the Potion Master’s talented mouth,

And this makes me think he's got a prehensile tongue shaped like a penis. *Scratches head* Pretty bad imagery all round, this week.

Snape slipped his cock inside the wet opening, pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside the Seekers’ Secret.

Assuming the Seekers' Secret is Harry's bum, how many Seekers are keeping it? Draco, Cedric.... Ginny?...

He grabbed Harry’s hips firmly, pulling out and watching his happy cock mesmerized

The art of Penis Hypnotism is an old wizarding secret. Possibly a Seekers' Secret.

“Potter, male wizards can have children, as I’m sure you are aware,”

NO!!!!!!! :o You mean witches DON'T reproduce via parthenogenesis or hippogriff experiments?!

“Those will signal if there is ever a problem,” Mr. Stonewall said, nodding to the ropes.

Like if THE LADS TRY TO EXPEL HUMAN BABIES VIA THE ALIMENTARY CANAL?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]alya1989262
2009-06-02 12:30 pm UTC (link)
Bad news for the Sims 2 fandom, that one.
I may never stop giggling.

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(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-06-02 06:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]eir_de_scania, 2009-06-02 04:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-02 10:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]cheryl_bites, 2009-06-03 01:16 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pica_scribit, 2009-06-03 01:35 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ija_ijewna, 2009-06-12 10:18 am UTC (Expand)

[info]sajina
2009-06-02 01:04 pm UTC (link)
Snape slipped his cock inside the wet opening, pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside the Seekers’ Secret. He grabbed Harry’s hips firmly, pulling out and watching his happy cock mesmerized before shoving back in.
1. WTF, The Seeker's Secret? *lol*
2. The image. THE IMAGE! *needs brain bleach*

(Reply to this)


[info]emmacmf
2009-06-02 04:09 pm UTC (link)
OW! My brain hurts.

When she finished, everyone was in awe.
“What? I write songs and play guitar.” She said, putting the guitar down.
“You’re amazing.” Everybody said, screamed…yelled…fainted…


Albus Dumbledore watched the scene unfold, then turned to look at Minerva. "I concede that it was a bad idea to allow a band named 'Hannah Montana and the Dementors' to provide music at the Ball this year."

Minerva pocketed the twenty Galleons, allowing a hint of a smirk to show on her face. "What did you expect? One of them drains all hope and joy out of a person and eats souls, and the other wears black, decaying robes. It was never going to end well."


he never realized how great her ass was soft yet strong like she was a runner yet big enough to let one know that she didn’t shy away from food

How nice of Snape to appreciate Hermione's pet donkey.

And now I've lost the will to mock anything else.



Edited at 2009-06-02 04:09 pm UTC

(Reply to this)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-06-02 04:50 pm UTC (link)
After a long chat with me, he concluded that he didn’t deserve to have his foreskin anymore
***Of all the stupid reasons for circumsicion...

“ There was a prophecy made about your son, daughter and Voldemort” said Albus.
***A son, a a daughter and Voldemort walk into a bar...

Authors Note: This is a good story.
***Readers comment: No, it's not.

back when Voldemort was in power most pureblood families couldn't get pregnant with any kids because of their dark marks
***Just *where* did they get the Dark Mark??


Black fur appeared on her, and she shrunk down to a 4 ft. tall, black, pupiless, golden eyed wolf with scars outlining her face.
***No wonder. Being blind, she must walk into things a lot.

back when Voldemort was in power most pureblood families couldn't get pregnant with any kids because of their dark marks

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]seekingnevada
2009-06-04 09:16 pm UTC (link)
***A son, a daughter and Voldemort walk into a bar...

Am I bad for trying to imagine the end of this joke?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]vivian_lake
2009-06-02 05:07 pm UTC (link)
>>>“You’re amazing.” Everybody said, screamed…yelled…fainted…

It was better than "Cats". They're gonna watch it again and again.


(I prefer singing cats to singing werewolves, actually.)

(Reply to this)


[info]plaid_slytherin
2009-06-02 07:07 pm UTC (link)
The one where Cedric is Edward is confusing... just because they're the same actor doesn't mean they're the same person when you cross them over!

That was so sad.

Oh, yes, a happily reunited family is just about the saddest thing I can think of next to weddings and new puppies.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Cedward Pattinson
[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-03 01:51 pm UTC (link)
The one where Cedric is Edward is confusing... just because they're the same actor doesn't mean they're the same person when you cross them over!

What? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm tired of vapid Cedward Pattinson fics, too.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ladyreddeath
2009-06-03 04:53 am UTC (link)
"“Do you like my pecker Professor?” Harry hissed lifting his hips repeatedly."
"Potter, it is a fine wood pecker, but it is not allowed in class, nor is air thrusting. 30 points from Gryffindor." Snape said

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]cheryl_bites
2009-06-04 01:52 pm UTC (link)
XD Heh heh heh.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ija_ijewna
2009-06-03 12:01 pm UTC (link)
His father would have beaten him if he had taken any more, and it was expected of submissives to be small and willowy, and never to be seen being greedy.
Somewhere, at the BDSM club.

"Hello, I'd like to join your club. I guess I'd enjoy being a submissive."
"No way, darling. You're way too tall."
"B-but... But I like being flogged and being humiliated excites me!"
"Sorry. Way too tall, and too well-built."
"Dear mistress, please, I beg you. I'll diet!" (kneels and kisses her boot)
"Nuh-uh. Only the small and willowy ones can be submissives. Anyone over 5 ft 5 in won't be accepted."

The Alpha was in charge of everyone in Europe, the continent of werewolves. All the humans had left the continent when the population of werewolves began to outnumber them.
That's true! How did you know? In fact it's not EU, it's EWU - European Werewolves Union. We made an exception for Hungarian and Romanian vampires though, and let them join the EWU, too.

Hermione was week in the knees
So in fact she *knew* how long she was staying there. Ha!

He was another young newbie after all, and I, an experienced Master of Males, and user of men, had no great interest in another untrained cunt licker who thought he was submissive.
Yes, but was he small and willowy? And what about his greediness?

“Dad don’t listen to the dark Lord, I’m your son” said Draco.
Voldemort nervously fixed the overlarge helmet that kept sliding off his head.
"Lucius," he said wearily "I hope you're aware that it's just a recreation of a famous moving pictures scene."
Lucius seemed sceptical. Voldemort sighed.
"Draco, are you ready?"
Draco nodded in agreement and stepped on the stage. Voldemort once again reached out with a gloved hand.
"Nooooooooo!!!"
"I'm your father, Luke."
"NOOOOOOO!!!"
They still had to Stupefy Lucius. Some people had no appreciation for culture.

since now the great hero held a mouth full of his legacy.
It's the most beautiful name for a penis, ever. Do women have legacies too? Or are they heritages?

pushing forward easily until his pelvis rested deep inside the Seekers’ Secret.
So, no heritages. Sigh. I feel slightly dissappointed.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]pica_scribit
2009-06-03 01:58 pm UTC (link)
It's the most beautiful name for a penis, ever. Do women have legacies too? Or are they heritages?

Don't tempt me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]elethian, 2009-06-03 05:49 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]karthzon, 2009-07-07 10:48 am UTC (Expand)

[info]beardedtroll
2009-06-03 09:14 pm UTC (link)
The Alpha was in charge of everyone in Europe, the continent of werewolves.

- Werewolf?
- Europe, master.

All the humans had left the continent when the population of werewolves began to outnumber them.

In hindsight it was obvious that, although draconian, China's "one puppy" policy had been the right solution after all.

who knew that dirty talk was sooo good

*raises hand*

In fact, sex is, in general, almost as good as proper punctuation.

that black wizards were more endowed then white

"Join the dark side. We've got cookies. And sildenafil."

The author, CRUDEDUDE, reserves all rights to original work.

Luckily, there isn't any.

an experienced Master of Males,

Is that like the Postmaster General?

The cock erupted from the Potion Master’s talented mouth,

I'm pretty sure that's not what parseltongue is supposed to be.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]eir_de_scania
2009-06-04 01:36 am UTC (link)
an experienced Master of Males,

Is that like the Postmaster General?

***Probably not. And definitely no winged hat included.

Nice to see you back at Babb, Skäggtroll.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]ladyreddeath, 2009-06-06 12:07 am UTC (Expand)

[info]mistyraven
2009-06-03 11:58 pm UTC (link)
•...his feet was very pretty for a man that wore boots all of the time and taking all of this in made Hermione’s head spin with need
•rape fucked his increasingly cock for a good 20 hours.
•At 11:00 Hermione put on a pink mini skirt with a cute pink top with mascara, pink eye shadow and pink lip-gloss.
•one of the gem kingdoms which are the only ones with royalty.
•With a muffled groan, Harry licked the weeping cock juice from Severus’s uncut pecker.
“GREAT GRYFFINDOR!” Snape gushed.
•...until his pelvis rested deep inside the Seekers’ Secret


Lolwut

(Reply to this)


[info]telepathos
2009-06-09 05:12 am UTC (link)
rape fucked his increasingly cock for a good 20 hours.

I don't.

This.

Is this even a sentence. D:

(Reply to this)


[info]nimbus1944
2009-06-17 03:31 pm UTC (link)
Author’s Note: That was so sad. Please Review!!!!!
The lack of character development, the lack of punctuation... so sad.

When she finished, everyone was in awe.
“What? I write songs and play guitar.” She said, putting the guitar down.
“You’re amazing.” Everybody said, screamed…yelled…fainted…

"And, I'm European!" she shouted, the gold specks in her chocolate eyes glittering.
"W E R E W O L F !!!!" they all screamed, and ran for the doors.

“Do you like my pecker Professor?”
Hogwarts has professors for so many things.

(Reply to this)


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