"H-HERMIONE, W-W-WHAT HAVE YOU D-DONE?!"
Hermione beamed. "I killed Voldemort! I'm going to be a hero!"
"No!" cried Ron, "that was Harry! We pulled a prank on you!"
"Hermione," said Ron, "I'm going to have to turn you in."
"No, don't!" cried Hermione, "wait! What if I give you the answers to our Divination for the rest of the year?
Ron looked from Hermione to Harry, "Deal, starting right now."
he saw Ron turn to look at him with those beautiful blue eyes of his. Even more lovely than the scales of the Swedish Short-Snout Cedric Diggory had faced in fourth year.
Harry stared into those beautiful eyes and sung very softly, "I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind. That I put down in words, how wonderful life is, now you're in the world."
Harry touched his lips to Ron's, a quick peck, and left the room.
"You fools." A velvet voice said.
"Severus!" Rodolphus said and jumped into Severus Snape's arms.
"Fine! Well you know third corridor? Severus and Lucius nodded
"Well I was walking and Sirius came up to me and well, snogged me!" Rodolphus looked around at his best friends.
"I shagged Remus Lupin!" Lucius shouted out. The three had been sitting in silence for about five minutes and Lucius couldn't take it. He closed his eyes awaiting the other two's response.
"Oh." Rodolphus said. He wasn't surprised. Remus was adorable in his shy way. Lucius could never pass up anything cute and dismissive, and Remus is both of these things.
"I shagged James Potter!" Severus called out over Lucius's screaming that he was going to kill Diggle. Severus was going to announce the shagging more classically, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
He soon started touching her. Feeling her up and down.
Then she blew him, and she blew him hard.
"Oh Lily Evans if you only knew the effect you have on me. Oh yes blow me harder!" he moaned, and she did as she was told.
They snogged, and touched, and felt every square inch of each other. Then James placed his ready manhood over her opening.
He took one big thrust and entered her. He explored her in depth, and she felt so good.
They sat in silence for while holding each other and reveling in the ups and downs sex had. It hurt, yes that was true. But it hurt so good, and they both enjoyed the feeling.
**(link) (Pottersues report)
"Aw, how adorable!" I said. I walked over to her.
"Hello. Who are you? My name is Hedwig," the owl hooted.
"Hello, Hedwig, I'm Jasmine. Oh, how awful it must be to be locked up like that," I said.
"Yes, but it is the rule made from that large, abusive man. Can you give me some of those seeds. I'm very hungry and that man doesn't like me being fed all the time but I kind of need it now," Hedwig said.
"Oh. Of course," I said, pouring some seeds into the feeder. "But I don't think he's that mean."
"You've just met him. He abuses my master. Now, I would like a nap so if you don't mind," she said with a beak full of seeds.
My ears were growing to a different shape, like cones that had been split in half. I was shrinking a fur was growing all over me. A boy opened the compartment door, and I snuck out on all fours. My clothing disappeared as a fluffy, red tail with a white tip grew in its place. I was in full fox form.
"Hello, Pansy," I grumbled, getting up and shoving her away.
"You need to stay away from Draco. He is mine, mine, MINE!!!" she shouted.
I grabbed my pillow and swung it as hard as I could at her face. IT hit her hard enough to knock her onto the ground. "Draco, is mine. You don't own him, and I don't, but he loves me and not you.
"I think I know why I was put in Slytherin. I think it is because of my father. He has a spirit in him, and he was put in Azkaban. His spirit is a snake.
All she had to do was treat the house elves like worthless pieces of trash, think highly of herself, walk around like she owns the place - which she perfected within the first day of being a Malfoy. She had the Malfoy smirk down pat, and she used it more than Draco did. Draco was proud of his twin sister - not that he'd ever admit that.
The only difference between Hermione and the rest of the Malfoy's is that she was nice and polite.
Draco had talked to Pansy while Hermione went looking for a wand in Ollivanders. He complimented her hair, and joked about how she didn't look like a Pug anymore. She giggled, and hugged him, thanking him. 'I did it just for you,' she whispered in his ear.
**(link) (Pottersues report)
"Uhh, Voldemort did this to me" He looked surprised at me for some reason, like I was supposed to react to that name, and who is Voldemort? What a weird name. "And... He used the Killing curse on me" I gasped again, the Killing Curse? Who would do that to a kid? That's just... just... sick! Luna and Robert seemed to think so as well.
"WHAT?! THE KILLING CURSE?! WHO WOULD TRY TO KILL A 13 YEAR OLD KID?!" Yelled Robert, Hermione had to put her hand over his mouth to quieten him down because of the hot professor
"Yeah, about that... I was one when he tried to kill me" WHAT?! ONE YEARS OLD?! I'LL KILL THAT DOUCH!
"Well, we don't. We'll introduce ourselves first and a little fact about ourselves and you do the same, Okay?" I asked, Everyone nodded in agreement and Robert went first.
"Okay, Hi! My name is Robert Stevenson, aka Flighty and I'm the smart one of the group because I was able to make the Paper of Ashes, because I'm so cool"
"Hello, My name is Luna Lovegood, aka Moony and I um... Am more dangerous than I look" All three of us gave the other three a look that says we'll kill you in your sleep if you hurt any of us. you could see the fear on their faces
"Hey, I'm Annie Arpin, aka Leo, I'm the best DADA student in this compartment and we are known as the Ash Trio" I said proudly, it was the bushy haired girls turn next
"Hi, My name is Hermione Granger, I'm in Gryffindor and I'm really smart" Robert gave her a mischievous look
"Hello, My name is Ron Weasley, I am one of seven children in my family and I'm in Gryffindor." Luna and Robert snickered at Ron, 6 other siblings; LOL!
"Alrighty then" I said "I'm Annie :) and DADA and Transfiguration are my talents, I'm already an animagus and with my help, so is Robert, Luna.. Ahh... Didn't want to become one... Yeah" now they ALL looked flabbergasted
"Prove it!"Hermione hissed at me, like she didn't believe it, so, I shrugged, stood up and turned into my Lion which is my form, I am a tall Lion, up to Rob's shoulder, with a tail of fire and my eyes as blue as the ocean
all they could do was nod, I think they were in shock, which only made Luny and Rob burst out laughing, I was too until i felt the professor move
"Guys! SHHHH!! The professor can hear you!" I hissed at them, I got on my knees on the seat, leaned over until my face was inches away from his go on the voice said kiss him, I dare you so, I closed the gap between us and kissed him on the fore head,
"No" A deep, husky voice that didn't belong to Luna... PROFESSOR... NO!!! he will NOT fight this dementor, no way known in HELL will he fight it!
At the same time we both yelled the incarnation
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" My Silver Lion and his Silver Wolf ran ahead at attacked the dementor.
"Fan of chocolate, Professor?" I asked
":D Yeah, I am, you too?"
"No, it didn't hurt me but did you hear someone screaming, a woman?"
"Crap! How dare they leave that memory behind, Imma Kill 'em, Ye, Imma KILL 'EM!" I said, getting all gangster and cool, i WILL kill those dementors!
"Miss Arpin, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to tell it better than I can"
"But, your a PROFESSOR!! It's you JOB to tell the answers, please, I don't want to tell him, I CANT tell him, Please!" I gave him my best puppy dog look, he loves me, he'll fall for it... HE HAS!!! Ah Ha! Sweet Success!!
She also said that we didn't want to be friendly with the Slytherins because they are evil bastards who's family have in-bred to keep the pure-blood status for their family, a little bit like Waterona, stupid faggots But if the professor was a Slytherin, you will like that house, got it? yeah, yeah, sure! What ever...
"Okay, Remus, see you in class" With that, he smiled, waved and turned to walk nice ass SHUT UP!!!
"Your cock is much better than the vagina. But I once fucked that vagina. The only vagina I ever enjoyed. Yet I can't remember who it belonged to."
"What a shame. Let's fuck to make you feel better." Ron stuck his long cocked up Harry's ass and move back and fourth.
"Oh my lord Ron! I am a volcano and you're making me explode. Oh god, Ron. Harder! Harder!" Harry commanded.
Harry sighed. He then sat down on his couch and began to masturbate. He was watching anime mango lesbian porn.
Then it struck him.
"I have to find that vagina, if it's the last thing I do!" Harry shouted. He grabbed his wand.
"Harry Pothead, you're late," Professor Snape said in a sexy voice.
"I'm sorry, you sexy - - I mean Professor Snape."
"It's alright, my dear. You're looking quite smashing yourself." Harry squeezed his cock and winked at her. Snape rubbed his ass and raised and eyebrow.
"Everybody open to page 378. I will read the instructions on how to make the magical pot potion, then you will do as told. To first start, you put some weed in. Then you add Potion XWL. But Potion XWL is a player, you see. He was doing the piece of weed. They were quite happy together. Then he met this frizzy haired whore called Hermo- - -, I mean Potion NEL. He then leaves the beautiful weed and---," Professor Snape said. She then began to cry.
As Harry was about to leave, he heard someone call to him through a door at the beginning of the class room. Being the curious mother fucker he is, he followed it. He enter the room.
"Harry, I know you have been looking for me. I have dreamed about you too," said the voice. Then the voice turned on the light.
It was Dumbledore. Harry gasped.
"But I thought you were male!" Harry shouted.
"Harry, don't you remember about my transplant I got two years ago? Don't you remember the night we got wild and fucked?" Harry stood puzzled for a couple seconds. Then he remembered.
"I do remember. On the fourth of July, we got wild."
Tom had one the war when Albus had betrayed the light and showed them his true colors. He had proven to everyone he was not a crazy mass murderer and had even managed to befriend Harry Potter.
Currently, Tom was listening to this Muggle device that Harry had taught him about. It was called an mp3 player.
Harry had put a playlist together for him and he was currently listening to the song Face Down by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
A few years later, Tom was sitting with Harry as their little one nursed.
"Thank you." Harry said suddenly.
Tom looked at him curiously.
"For what, my love?" he asked in return.
"For giving me a new life."
shocolate for the fic where Hermione kills Harry and the Ron/Harry fic
shyfoxling for the fic where everyone is shagging everyone else
randomneses for the Lily/James smutfic